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Why some Black women only date White Men

Posted by James, 17 Jan

We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.

The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.

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Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.

Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.

Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.

One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.

With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?

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1841 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"

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  1.   dreami says:
    Posted: 08 May 14

    i say the same as you thaadorable1 i love black woman

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  2.   Nimssy says:
    Posted: 01 May 14

    White men are romantic and knows a woman's worth..me wud love to date one

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    • LadyDay1979 says:
      Posted: 31 May 14

      Not all white men are all the same. However, from the majority of the white men that I have dated, I have been treated very well.

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  3.   ThaAdorable1 says:
    Posted: 30 Apr 14

    i have dated white men as long as i have been able to date. My preference is my preference....and i'm sure just like a lot of other black women in this world that do, no one's approval is needed. So many(not all) black men feel that we gravitate towards the other race for comfort. WRONG! I am a Nurse. i can take care of myself. Some men just can't handle the fact. I am my own person, and i love white men.

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  4.   1hombrebueno says:
    Posted: 10 Mar 14

    Most people tend to date their own race, Even on this interracial dating site, I have seen many Black women who are still open to dating Black men or "any ethnicity"

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  5.   Fashionista4 says:
    Posted: 01 Mar 14

    THIS is going to be shown to all my friends who badger me about never liking black men.

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  6.   DaQueen3 says:
    Posted: 22 Jan 14

    I Simply Adore White Men Who Love Their Black Queen! Been Swirling for over 20+years and loving every previous moment of dating a White man. My feelings! To each his Own Enjoy yourself life is meant to be Loved and Respected by the One You Love No matter if their Black or White!! Laugh! Love! Live Life to the fullest ! # just saying my point!

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  7.   BoojieBrenda says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 14

    This is an excellent story. I've come to accept the fact that there are many options out there for me. And that it's ok for me to date outside of my race because it doesn't mean that I hate my race. I can only live and be happy for me. I used to get really angry whenever I saw a Black man dating outside of our race, even if he wasn't desirable to me. So I decided to try dating outside of my race. And, I am So glad that I stepped outside of my comfort zone. I've met someone who is incredible! I look forward to sharing our success story soon.

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  8.   boiler1 says:
    Posted: 03 Dec 13

    I knew the black women date white men . But not to this level. This open my eyes a lot. Time have change a lot from the past. Now I see mixture of different people dating. I my self wants to date a white woman and asain woman. I feel in my spirit that they have a nice spirit. Then to take care their men. We I wants to see for my self. This is the first time I ever post my feeling on and open site. Just trying something new.

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  9.   mitchmi says:
    Posted: 22 Nov 13

    well in my own opinion,i think white men are caring,affectionate nd above all very honest.The kind of love they give to thier woman is totally out of this world..lol

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    • boiler1 says:
      Posted: 01 Dec 13

      I think you are right. But I must say when we as black men deal with our inner man. We are very good people. I'm learning a lot about the inner man. Which it makes me a more better man for all of you'll. I'm looking at some real things about the inner man and how we shoild treat women.Thank for posting

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  10.   Precious2644 says:
    Posted: 21 Nov 13

    Because White man handle Their Story

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  11.   EuroSWM4SBF says:
    Posted: 01 Nov 13

    because it just feels so natural and so right....and because most white men treat black women like the queens they are.... And I definitely discriminate..I haven't dated any one but black women since 1996. So not all discrimination is bad. We do not all like she same things and that is what makes our individual human experience so unique. The right to choose one's happiness no matter what public opinion or society dictates is contained within my Constitutional Right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I served our great nation for 14 years to defend your right to date who you want....and to defend my right to exclusively date black women as they are the most beautiful women on the planet with the fiercest spirits.....

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  12.   Cory0533 says:
    Posted: 27 Oct 13

    Well, black men are good-looking but I have always gravitated towards white or asian. So preference for me, i just don't date black men. though i was going to take my friend daniel to prom, he is black, but he got in trouble with his dad so i went stag XD

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  13.   xxsorbetxx says:
    Posted: 22 Oct 13

    Interesting read here, i have had those same thoughts and questions myself. I have a female friend who originates from the same African country as i and she only dates White males but i find hers to be of racist. Being a friend i tried not to judge on many occasions but it was hard because i felt offended myself in many aspects despite not even being a Black male. Here's why i find her 'preference' to be for the wrong reasons, she was not born or bred here here in the UK, we were both born in Africa, she dated once in Africa before relocating to the UK at 15 years of age so not much experience dating Black men to really judge for better or worse. We met a year after her being in the UK and so far as i've known her she only had eyes for White males. I did not know much about her at the beginning yet so did not see anything off with her dating interracially. Now as years went by it became clear to me as we learnt more of one another that she really does not appreciate her own race and puts White males on a pedestal and i tried to subtly give her advice but it always fell on deaf eyes. And her series of White boyfriends were such losers that it was beyond me why she only dates them. Examples of her series of White male boyfriends include, a homeless sponger and thief (he milked her account in the end, i had to run him out of her house), another was a very attractive but openly confessed cheater (now this guy was real smooth, good dresser, good pocket, confident and all the works, but turns out he had a pregnant fiance back in Newzealand, oh and he hit on me hard, i stopped going to hers just to avoid being hit on, then he calls me while i am staying away, he was bold enough to go through her phone to get my line, i was in shock), the list goes on really but you see what i mean ladies and gents. And she is very attractive too, not just my opinion here, but also based on the amount of guys who notice her, she often turns heads so again it is beyond me why she would 'sell herself short' per say. And she gets attention from Black men with prospects too, but she tends to act like she is a queen where they are concerned and takes what they may offer, as in money or favors (nothing sexual ofc) and then disregards them, that is when i really took offense and blew up at her, told her "do not do that crap around me, it's sickening to observe, what is wrong with you, you date lowly White males and do not even give Black males a chance but gladly accept any offerings they may extend to you knowing full well it is their yearning for you that prompts them to offer it in the first place, you have not had bad experiences with Black males whereas you have a series of it with White males yet you continue your 'i see only White' charade, i do not understand this way of yours and believe me i have been trying to find an ounce of sense to it and there is none whatsoever nope, i ask again what the hell is wrong with you woman!?! I mean i know i am not male so am spared from being given your 'Black male treatment' but girl you come across to have a self hate thing which makes me wonder what you think of me being that i am also of Black race, tell me do you believe that we are beneath the White race? Because i do not know about you but i am pretty certain i most definitely am not". Even had to spare my older brother from her and i usually try to spare people from him lol, he is the arrogant type, looks good, yeah i can admit that, and so do many foolish women but we are working on humbling his darn arrogance lol. Anyway back to point, I personally date and embrace all, am all about variety, they say it's the spice of life right. It's funny my dating history, i have dated more Black males than White, but my first love was White, i effed that up with regret because he really was the best but i was just finding my femininity then as i only had just began dating and was overwhelmed by it all so ended up pushing him away. But i try to make every experience a learning curve to do better. If i were to judge then i would honestly say i've had better treatment and appreciation in an interracial relationship. Now the fact that i have dated more Black men than White does not mean that is my racial preference, i have no racial/color preference, just so happens i am in a setting of my own race more often hence the chances of my dating a Black guy would be greater. No race is above the other so far as i am concerned, take Taye Diggs and Channing Tatum, now those 2 are on opposite ends both racially and colorwise but damn would i have both equally any day, any time, forever on standby for them XD .... Anywho if you read all of the above then thanks :) i will conclude with i endeavor to end up with whom ever treats me the best in as many aspects of my being as possible. I also believe in giving as good as i get so yes i know i have my part to play naturally and i do be best to deliver, may you all do the same no matter what sex or race you are or he/she is.

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  14.   Wonderwoman1 says:
    Posted: 19 Oct 13

    Anyone who would NEVER date a member of their own race is intentionally discriminatory. There is no reason to condone this self loathing racist mentality. It's one thing to be open to dating other races, but quite another to say you find no one attractive within your race or culture. I don't hear this ignorance coming from White people. Thus far, I have never heard of a White man or woman say they would never ever date a member of their own race. They often say the PREFER to date interracially for various reasons, but none of which is self loathing. I find this type of racist mentality quite disturbing in 2013. If people stopped the hating, they would find all races attractive, including their own. Wholesale stereotyping people is just plain wrong, no matter who is doing it. I hope Black people stop all of this foolish talk.

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    • Mandingodude says:
      Posted: 16 Mar 18

      Thank you for your well thought post. You are ought to raise smart kids and be a good partner to your mate. God bless you and I wish you luck. The black race needs more people that think like you especially in the US. Black people in other parts of the world don't do what blacks do in the US.

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  15.   whiteshirt says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 13

    I dated black men because that's what society dictated at the time, I have also dated white men. and I found that I am just more attracted to white men than I am black men. They just seem to treat me the way I feel that a woman should be treated, I have never gotten that from any black man that I have dated, now that I am older, I just don't care what anyone else thinks, I looking for that special someone, and I hope he is white.

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  16.   1black_pearl says:
    Posted: 16 Sep 13

    My attraction to white men began when I was in 5th grade. I had a white, bright blue-eyed playmate named Donnie S. Whenever Donnie would talk to me, he would gaze straight into my eyes with strong eye contact. It bought on the "puppy love flutters" because his eyes were so beautiful! I began to notice that the black boys had little or no eye contact. Since then, my pleasures and passion for love stem from the white boy whose soul I can see through their bright colored eyes. But its not just their eyes that has stolen my heart, but the ones I've been involved withneed to look so much more different than blacks go out of their way

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  17.   DJD2013 says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 13

    (I think I'm on a roll today.) I have two other siblings and our parents are from the South. They raised us in Chicago, sent us to very, heavily mixed catholic schools for two reasons. 1.) a better education. 2.) To be around and learn about kids from every culture, religious background, race, country, creed, etc....they wanted us to grow up and see the individual, not the person's skin alone. And they made a good choice. Of course, as we got older, teenagers and into adult life, we began dating people of every race. Being from Chicago, I know i ran into dilemmas with black men all the time while dating them and while dating other men as well. From my point of view- clearly it's only mine, I will tell you why I will never find myself dating a black man- at least an American one ever again. As I like to put it, it's because they lack mental diversity. They keep themselves in this odd cookie cutter carbon copy like box of life with the same close minded ideology, words, routines, behaviors and expectations. And for me (once again, just me), this is beyond a turn off. And I can happily say that it's not all American black men but the percentage is large. As a black woman who happily dates white men ( ...I'm partial to foreign men if you're reading this post), Asian men, etc., it's because they're are mentally diverse. They are not stuck in the one way, one sided way of living. And another VERY IMPORTANT reason, I believe why some black women only date white men, is because I don't recall there being edict against it. And if there were one, it had better be permanently etched into the sky by the universe for all to see. Even then... I'd still do it.

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  18.   Edna65 says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 13

    I am amending my remark about giving up on men of color. I am not giving up. But I simply do not hold onto a lot of hope and belief that a blk man will ask me out. I'd like to be in a relationship, and preferably with someone attracted to me for all of the right reasons.

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  19.   Edna65 says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 13

    I am attracted to men. It just happens that men of color have never been attracted to me. Even as a youngster I was always aware of having more white male friends than any other ethnic group. I believe in being attracted to a person, not simply 'color'. But I've given up on men of color. They simply are not attracted to me. I have enjoyed the company of men of many different races and I seem to 'synch' with white men. My preference would be for a kind and smart man period.

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  20.   statician says:
    Posted: 03 Sep 13

    I just need a white boy in my life forever the rest i don't care.

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    • black3143 says:
      Posted: 26 Feb 14

      It's nice to have a man that works for a living.

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      • ninjadaddy says:
        Posted: 15 Apr 14

        I have a degree, a job as an administrator for a local government agency, and I'm black. So what are you trying to insinuate?

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    • tallanhansum says:
      Posted: 16 Mar 14

      I'm a white man an I would like to. Find someone like u

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  21.   Agirlygirl says:
    Posted: 02 Sep 13

    The first male I remember ever kissing was a white boy around the corner from school, while waiting for my Mom to lockup her classroom. I was soooo scared. Since then, I have always been attracted to white guys. It was a white husband who warmed the bed sheets, in the winter months, for me when ready for bed....it was a white man that warmed towels for me and wrapped them around my body, after helping me out o:-) f the tub....it was a white man who made coffee every morning and brought it to me while my derrière was on the throne in the bathroom...it was a white man who buckled me in a car for safety....it was a white man who first cooked for me, outside of my black daddy, who was the first. It was a white man who bought me flowers every week....it was a white man who took care of me financially, without question. We are no longer together because he was a jealous and possessive man and it outweighed all of the niceties. White men have been kinder, more gentle, more loving to me. If a black man showed me the above kindness, I would be attracted to him as well. But all I get in the end is "you think you're better than me cause you were raised in an all white community". I'm so tired of that mentality. Any good white men out there looking for or wanting a loving black woman?

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  22.   A1hunnidchiq says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 13

    I do not discriminate but I prefer to date white men. I love the way they treat me and they also accept my child!!! I have dated two white guys before and I loved it !!!

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  23.   dave_74 says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 13

    I say to each their own and you don't have to justify what you are attracted to, to anyone except yourself.

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  24.   khouri62 says:
    Posted: 25 Aug 13

    I have been attracted to white males my whole life. As a small child in elementary school, I realized this. My mother dated several caucasian & latino males & without her saying, I knew this was her preference. I am physically attracted to white males mainly & I have did tons of soul searching trying to figure out why. Even in my own mind it became tangled & confusing. I don't know how to change who I am attracted to.

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    • Marousia says:
      Posted: 21 Oct 13

      Khouri62, I completely understand. It's society, some friends, family members, etc., who will have you questioning your preferences or who try to make you feel you're betraying a whole group of people. We choose for ourselves everyday, what we want to eat, wear, the music we enjoy, infinitum without asking for permission from someone else or feeling the need to justify. This really is no different. Just because we are identified with a particular group of people or culture doesn't mean we must all like the same things. That would be ridiculous and totally unrealistic. We are individuals and first and foremost, regardless of color, we are human beings. - M

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  25.   Agness14 says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 13

    i realy love this article.my dream husband is a white guy.i love them because they know how to appreciate and treat a woman like a lady.

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  26.   Beautiful_30 says:
    Posted: 15 Aug 13

    In high school I was only interested in White men, I had mostly white friends, some black but I was always comfortable with white people. Im Irish, Native American and black. After high school and how my mom's side of the family was I started dating black men and have been very unsuccessful in finding a good one. Now I'm a single mom of a three year old. So since 2012 I started to date outside my race and I'm feel more comfortable, to me; Men of different race are more understanding, loving than the black men I've been with. My son's father who is black has only seen him once in his life and now we don't even communicated, he left me pregnant to cheat on me and now my son and their daughter are three months to the day apart! Just last year I dated a black man and he left a bad taste in my mouth to where I NEVER want to date a black man again. But that is my opinion! But I am much happier with dating other race of men and I wouldn't change it.!

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  27.   Silverelite says:
    Posted: 13 Aug 13

    The women that are the topic of this dissuasion; your attention is cordially invited to my profile! -SILVERELITE

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  28.   Arcee says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 13

    preference no doubt. Although until recently, I've only pursued dating black men. Once I lifted the veil and started dating non black men (preferably white) I just found myself being more attracted to white men. I like their style, and it fits mine. IMHO. That's not to say that the brothas aren't just as fabulous, but I had to admit that I just preferred white men. I like your article because your friend is very similar to my experience. My first crush was a white man (Christopher Reeve as Superman, LOL) Then Richard Gere, and countless others. Of course I had my black man crushes along the way, LL Cool J, Bobby Brown, Shemar Moore, Blair Underwood, etc.I still come back to white men. Perhaps Christopher Reeve's sexy superman set a preference in me that he had no idea would last into my adulthood. But, I don't hate on anyone that has a preference, even the brotha's whom many of my friends have a problem with them dating white women, or non black women. I am no such hypocrite. We only have one life, and I believe we should go where our heart and lets be real loins lead us. LOL.

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  29.   betrand13 says:
    Posted: 07 May 13

    I am so happy after reading all this comment... I think there's noting wrong for a white woman dating Black men... it's all base on your choice and happiness. and that you can find every were you look even in the land of the cripple.... mine self ever since i was a kid i always dream of a white woman even till date.. and is not about my black woman but about my choice and as God may have it. cos without God we are noting. i believe there's someone out there for everyone be you white or black !

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  30.   prettygirl46 says:
    Posted: 19 Apr 13

    When I was young we were religious and we had friends of all different races. In my neighborhood it was the same. In my religion there were 2 black guys who were just my friends. I didn't think of them in a romantic way and my dad was trying to push me into dating them. He got mad at me for dating white guys only and said, "why don't you give brothers a chance." I was always interested in white guys even as a young girl, and I guess he never understood that. In high school it was the same. A lot of the black guys never took me seriously and I use to think that they really didn't care about me. The white guys paid more attention to me. When I was 23 I placed personal ads looking for mostly Italian guys. My first guy which was mostly a sexual thing was the one I loved but he didn't feel the same way. I found out that he did care but was uneasy about the interracial thing. Now this is a guy who said to me, "you will never get an Italian guy to love you." I eventually came to my senses and moved on still searching for a white man. I feel that even though I had a bad experience with him, I will always date them because they see me differently. And I did eventually marry an Italian guy. Even though we are divorced we are still friends. You should never need a man to validate you, but it's nice to have a man pay you a compliment and appreciate you.

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  31.   wintersrose says:
    Posted: 01 Apr 13

    No one ever questions your favorite ice cream. So, why do we concern ourselves with dating preferences? Some men like women with short hair. Some women like men with beards (I'm one of them). Im holding out for my tall blue-eyed guy who will wake me with french toast and poetry. I've always been attracted to men outside of my race. I've never felt it was taboo. I simply like what I like. And by the way, vanilla ice cream is my all time favorite.

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  32.   Magnetic13 says:
    Posted: 20 Mar 13

    I love learning about another person's culture! I give that credit to my mother who was a college student while we grew and she had various races of friends over to study and babysit us while she studied. I know I am attracted to a different race of man for the obvious differences we would have, but will love any race of man because of his character.

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  33.   XnChristine says:
    Posted: 10 Mar 13

    I am so happy to read all of these comments from black sisters who prefer white men! I am white and married a black man 36 years ago. We got a lot of anger from black sisters, and I felt very guilty that I had cheated my black sisters of an available black man. Well, now it looks like things are evening out--I see more black women with white men--so I am very happy and relieved. Thank you all for sharing so honestly!

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  34.   Voice4Reason says:
    Posted: 24 Feb 13

    I've read this thread and some of the comments. Its a intriguing topic and I see a lot of different viewpoints which has been very informative. As a Black man, I can never hold to thee claim of dating any one particular race. I just never felt the desire to limit myself in such a manner, especially since there are so many beautiful women in every ethnic group and culture. Personally, it doesn't matter who you choose to date because we all have our own perceptions on whats we find beautiful and attractive. Also, I would like to congratulate the lovely couple featured in the highlighted article as well as all of those who have successfully found love. I also would like to wish you all the very best in life and that your unions are both fulfilling and everlasting. To share a few of my experiences, my first crush was with a Korean girl in junior high school and my first official date was with my high school sweetheart, a beautiful Black woman. After graduation from high school, I left home and attended college where I dated a beautiful White woman, whom then went back to her home state of Ohio. I then dated a beautiful Puerto Rican woman and we stayed together until I ended up going home and going into the military. Of course then as I traveled across the country, as well as out of the country, I dated women from all walks of life. I ended up settling with my current partner, a beautiful Asian woman, whose character is definitely the highlight of her beauty. Of course, race really shouldn't be an issue, but unfortunately for some, it remains to be a huge issue. I commend you also dzNola and wish you all the success in your new marriage. It kind of surprised me when you stated that most of your negative experiences were from Black men. As a Black man, I do apologize for the ignorance they displayed to you as well as assure you that you wont have to worry about such negativity from me. I have to admit that for some reason, most of my negative experiences came from various groups which was influenced by whatever part of the country I was in. Basically the negative feedback we received came from two groups, mostly Black women from up north and mostly White men down south. Were currently in her native country of the Philippines and we have for the most part had pleasant experiences, only two negative experiences in almost six months. It has been a breath of fresh air to not have to be confronted with glaring stares and ignorant remarks. I'm not certain when we will return to the US but I can definitely tell you that were not looking forward to the immature and uneducated outbursts that seem to be customary among our nation's ignorant. I can only begin to imagine what you will have to endure when she arrives and I can only hope that it will be non existent. But since that assumption is unrealistic I can only hope that you and your wife will remain strong and educate those minds of lesser character. That's the advice I can give to you and to all the beautiful Black ladies in this forum who have to endure the negative comments of the lower members of our Black race. We've been together now for eight great years and still we grow stronger with each passing day. I wish the same for you all and through endurance and education can we forge togetherness and hopefully eradicate these injustices.

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  35.   dzNOLA says:
    Posted: 22 Feb 13

    GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU!!!! My absolutely AMAZING wife and I met on this site, married in December 2012, and are waiting for our "Success Story" to be published here. She's still in Jamaica while we're wrangling our way through the whole visa process. VERY curious how it seems so easy for folks who want to get in the U.S. to KILL us....but to be IN LOVE with someone....that's simply a different story!?! My experiences dating interracially are somewhat similar to some of the other posters here. Always had friends in my neighborhood that were black or hispanic, same thing in school and playing sports. First black girl I dated was in high school; early 70's, so for safety's sake, we were restricted to meals at each other's houses by our parents. CRAZY!! So many things about black women that I'm attracted to that's it's difficult to narrow it down. The physical attraction is definitely the strongest, in that I love the look and scent of her skin...completely intoxicating!! Beyond that, I need to see where her head and heart are coming from. Right there is where my wife had me swooning!! I can't thank this site enough for creating such a target-rich environment where folks openly declare themselves to have a more global view of humanity!! Before, when I was attracted to someone of a different race, there was a lot of time and effort expended on establishing some communication...only to learn that she wasn't open to dating outside her race, or worse, not attracted to ME (errrk!!). When I was in the Marines in late 70's, I openly dated a black woman, and we found that most of the really negative reaction we received was from black MEN. Actually, my girlfriend was the one who was on the receiving end of the hostility. I'm very grateful that attitudes in this country have improved to where they are today. ALTHOUGH, I have earnestly been preparing my Jamaican bride for the venomous haters that we will come across when she joins me here. She tells me she has NEVER been called "N". What I think is wonderful about THAT is that she thinks it is hilarious...the power that that evil word has! The first fool who throws that at her is going to get the shock of his pathetic life when she looks right at him and laughs her head off! I'll try not to pee my pants! I truly respect ANYONE who chooses to date outside their race, as they are displaying some real courage, at least here in the U.S., with our long history of hang-ups over a great myriad of foolish ideas.

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  36.   drew8472 says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 13

    This is an interesting topic to be sure! I think interracial dating enhances our experiences! I am originally from the United Kingdom of Great Britain (London) and we have a lot of interracial dating mostly between Whites and Blacks. My parents are from the Caribbean. I now live in the Dominion of Canada (Alberta) and there seems to be a different sort of dynamic over here. I do not want to say that it is not as "open" as in England, but there is something different - something more reserved. Can't quite put my finger on it. I like both Black Women and White Women as well as Women of other ethnicities (Latina, Native American, Middle-Eastern, East-Indian). It's unfortunate the experience of one of the commenters on here about how he smiled at a Black lady and she didn't smile back. That's happened to me over here in Alberta, Canada several times (and I'm Black - well actually mixed Black and East-Indian, but everyone over here, I would be considered Black) - go figure!!!! I still think though it's only a handful of people like that - then again, it could be my Aspie characteristics in not reading non-verbal social cues all that well and/or the cultural reserved differences here in North America. I just think there is so much to to be gained by learning about other cultures, races. We all like what we like and I see nothing wrong with it.

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    • amayi says:
      Posted: 23 Oct 14

      I like you. You would understand my family make up. Coming from a Caribbean great great great great great great grandmother marrying a British man (ggggggrandfather). I'm the 7th generation from this union. Nothing wrong with our choices. Just embraced yourself with happiness.

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      • wjd26 says:
        Posted: 02 May 15

        Urrr chances are your 5th great grandmother was from Africa and was a slave she did not marry (was not allowed during slavery)

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  37.   Ausar719 says:
    Posted: 02 Feb 13

    I started dating white men after joining a blackdating web site. The majority of responses were from white men. My ex husband was black, so were my previous boyfriends. I was surprised @ the amount of white men interested in black women. Like the two women commenting before me, black men always approach me. I don't have issues with black men mistreating me. Never tolerated it. If I didn't get my needs met, after trying I left the relationship. White men are different than black men. However, I can't say whiite men are better. I just think it is new, different and exciting. I am defintely out of my comfort zone and I am excited about the possibilities. A lot of white men are interested in black women, that was a big surprise. But a welcome one. To know we have these options.. Wow!!

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  38.   Happy_Girl says:
    Posted: 02 Jan 13

    I agree with Rranderson. We date white men NOT because black men dont want us OR not because black men date white women but because we are attracted to them. I can NOT begin to tell you how sick I am of men suggesting it is about his money other wise I would date a black man. NOT true. IT his good looks that draw me to his side.

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    • DivineBeauty95 says:
      Posted: 28 Apr 13

      Happy_Girl, I totally agree with you. I'm an educated black women and I don't need a white man for his money as I have a great career. I need and want the love of a white man because I'm attracted to them and have been since high school. I've tried to denied it, but I've given up the fight. I want who makes me happy and that just happen to be white men.

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  39.   Rranderson says:
    Posted: 23 Dec 12

    I have to say that, as a black woman, I do not date white men because black men do not want me anymore. I date white men because, they're what I'm attracted to. I don't like it that the media says we are going after white men because we are this poor, pathetic ethnic group that nobody wants. We have choices. Any black woman can tell you that black men still find us attractive.They still love a black woman's figure. I think sometimes, just opposites are more appealing. That's just a natural thing.Doesn't mean I'm less attractive. I have dated mostly black men in my life and always found white men attractive. I grew up in a house with a father that made it painfully clear, not to date a white man. Because of that it took me many years before I did. Now that I'm older and doing what I want to do and dating who I want to date,...like one lady said in an early post,.....I don't care who disagrees or doesn't like it. I'm happy.

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  40.   PinkVelvet81 says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 12

    I find white men and Asian men to match my preference more nothing to it.

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  41.   Lovelymiz says:
    Posted: 07 Dec 12

    @ jt37. You are so telling the truth. I remember an elderly white woman at a Lucky's supermarket in Oakland say out loud to herself while holding a box of grits: "They make fun of this but one day I'm going to try it." I whispered to her, "grits are delicious ma'am and you should try them!" She thanked me for my input. Did she buy a box? I don't know, I didn't have time to stick around to watch her... Anyway, after moving to Huntsville, AL, I and my co-workers were at our company Christmas dinner when a white woman said "I've got to hurry up and leave so I can put my greens on." I almost fell out of my chair. I asked, "You like greens Theresa?" She simply replied "Yes." The other whites at the table chimed in in agreement. I just couldn't believe it - she even put ham hocks in to season them. lololol Finally, I'll never forget attending a family reunion in Cincinnati at the Sheraton which served grits as part of the breakfast buffet and saw this one white woman whisper about me to her friend. I then stated aloud so she could hear me: "It's so nice living in the South where Blacks and Whites like and eat the same foods." Of course she was embarrassed, as she should have been!

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  42.   jt37 says:
    Posted: 01 Dec 12

    I think that statement the author James made about white men liking black women because of "wildly different cultures, food, and music" is completely wrong at least in the case of many men....I am from the south...my parents were from the south...and my ancestors in america were almost all if not all from the south. There are many areas in the south where a county/town will have as many black residents as white residents (and it has been that way for 100s of years in that particular area). A lot of food that is labeled as "soul food" is also eaten by countless white southerners. A lot of southern black musicians have recorded songs by country music writers (Al Green, James Brown, Ray Charles, Tina Turner etc. have done it.) Many anthropologists argue that people from the south possess a biracial culture (over the 100s of years both black and white people influenced each other). Jimmy Carter and Martin Luther King were both born in Georgia and to me their dialect/accent or whatever you want to call it are more similiar to each other than they would be to say a white or black person from NYC etc. I think James' arguement was way too simplistic...maybe a white guy from vermont/maine/rhode island might find a black womans culture to be "wildly different" but from my perspective I don't see it that way at all.

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  43.   Scotty432 says:
    Posted: 29 Nov 12

    I found this thread interesting. I've dated quite a few black women and tend to find them (and Arab and Hispanic) women more my type. Just a preference issue. I tend to be more attractive to those women as well. I wanted to clear up to myths, at least in my 42 years of experience as a white guy, military vet, traveler, cultural spectator, etc. 1. MOST WHITE GUYS ARE NOT JEALOUS OF BLACK MEN. That may have been true in the past, it may have had racial underpinnings, but a LOT of that is hype from black men (confirmed by white women I've known who've dated them). I also hear black guys drop hints like that sometimes, kidding around (half-kidding). Most white guys are NOT insecure about black men, or care if they date white. And actually, although I think it is ALSO a stereotype, most white guys think of black me as only being able to get fat white women (which I know is not true). But that's the deal. 2. As sexy as black women are, or can be, it is a VERY VERY small group of white men that "only want black women for sex." Finding it on the internet, or finding some evidence does not prove that (some men are into all sorts of weird stuff). There IS NO stereotype within the larger white male community of black women being better in bed, or any of that. There may be SOME white men that think that, but that is NOT a stereotype. That's something I often hear black women allude to (and yes, the whole "back in the slavery days" etc). White men love sex, yes...but most are not attracted to black women, or are neutral. White men DO have a fetish, as a stereotype for Asian women...do not ask me why, I've never understood it. but it is ASIAN WOMEN that white men talk about, carry on sex stereotypes, etc. Just sayin. I am not writing this to be offensive or to be mean,but I get tired of hearing these two stereotypes. They simply aren't true and I think in each case (black men, black women) they are thinking something they may WANT to think. Plenty of white men find black women attractive (as I do), but it is no more of a sex thing with them than anyone (I've slept with all races /ethnicities and the only differences are personal ones, not racial, other than obvious skin, smell, differences, etc).

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  44.   Divanurse11 says:
    Posted: 25 Nov 12

    Look black men! Your black sistas will always have love for you. We want you to achieve great things and some of us want to share the success with you. But in some cities you guys aren’t checking for us. So we have to go where the love is. I have three brothers and they all date white girls- some I love. I absolutely love my nephews and nieces they have produce. My brothers tell me blacks girls have big mouths. This means we don’t put up with their bullshit. I feel sorry for the way my brothers treat some of the girls. Some bros really love white women, some date them cause it easier- they want submissive women that they can control. Black men, it is true we have lost our way some what. We don’t make you feel like men and we do sometimes have too much pride. But we black women have endured a lot. So this protective mechanism has caused us to be hard on you. We do hold you to high standards- the same that we strive for. But please stop being so defensive thinking we are gold diggers. It’s not fair for you to lay up with us while we hold things down and then when your successful you leave us behind. Guess what? A white woman will take your money too. I love you and always will because no one has swag like you do. But I’m too exhausted to stroke your ego. I need a white man- no drama. You know what? I see your point- sorry. Yes, I think white guys have less drama and it is nothing more sexier than a white man with a black woman. Like or Dislike: 0 0 (0)

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  45.   ally2311 says:
    Posted: 19 Nov 12

    For a site that promotes interracial dating, the union of individuals from diff race, backgrounds coming together and making it work as 1.. there is a lot of bitterness, and a lot of provocative arguments/articles and controversy going on on here..... If you have a preference of black, yellow, orange or blue mate, well seek it...do what you must to have it.... but when you start assigning certain behaviours to certain race, it's just terrible... at the end of the day, it's the way a person was raised...their experiences, and how they deal with them, what they take from it, an what they have learnt, their heart and mind... their environment, thats what makes up a person. I am mixed race, my mother's family is from India, and my father is a mixture of black, indian , and scottish...and possibly others... my mom 4 kids, 3 with my dad, and my sister, my mom's first born, has a black father.. we were raised by my very indian grandmother, while my mom tried to work to provide for us.., grams disliked the idea my mom decided to have kids with non indian men..and my sister, being half black, was treated like crap.... For me, what i took from my childhood, after seeing my sister suffer, is, how can i ever treat any one race so terribly...i believe in God, and that he made us equally...i believe we wern't made to all look the same, sound the same, be the same, or else it would be a very boring world.. and i feel it's a test to see how we live as human beings, how well we treat others...whether you believe in God or not... I don't care where you are from...i'll never treat you differently because of the colour of your skin.... A lot of people out there need to teach their children the right thing, expose them to different culture, expose them to the diverse world they live in... it starts at home... if you expose them to racism, telling them only one colour is better, what do you expect them to do?

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  46.   revolverbte says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 12

    I always like to joke around about how much I can't find a compatible black female, when I do she is usually dating or married to a white man. I'm sort of implying that a lot of black men have ruined it for black women. I'm sure if I read through enough of these responses it's bound to come up how so many black women are fed up with the "stereotypical" black man you sometimes hear about. Black women have been outpacing black males in the career and education arena. So, in a sense, can you blame a black woman for dating white men? No. Can you blame someone for basing their future actions on past events? No again. But what we all learn, after living long enough, is that you never know when, where or who that next compatible person might be. My childhood friend always grew up exclaiming he would marry a black woman. When he went to medical school and became a surgeon he ended up marrying a white woman. Well, I wonder why? Opportunity? Availability? Or let's just admit that they met and liked each other--irregardless of their skin color or race. I hate to say it but confining yourself to dating one race is like saying you only like one kind of music, food, color, movie.

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  47.   angie432 says:
    Posted: 29 Sep 12

    I can honestly say, That I have dated Blk, Wht and latino men. and from my own personal experiences..white men for the most part have treated me with the most respect, been more open, honest and "sensitive":-).

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  48.   Beau01 says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 12

    I clicked on this link because I was very curious as to what the author would list as the answer. I must admit I was shocked!! Very much so!! Mostly because it was like someone reached into my mind and pulled out this answer. LMFAO!!! Of course I have see very handsome black men....but for whatever reason...the simple truth is I am just more attracted to white guys. I even seem to have a more specific type than just white. No matter who I have tried to date...I am just simply attracted to dark haired white men (usually from a European background)!!!

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  49.   mrclassic86 says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 12

    As a young Black man, I always feel challenged with this topic. Dating is culturally influenced. When I hear Black women say Black guys aren't romantic or family oriented, I'm reminded of the brutal history of America and the attempt to destroy black love. I'm for interracial dating because everyone deserves love. I just hate that Black men and women of this generation have very few examples of Black love to emulate.

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  50.   VASweetie82 says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 12

    I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with dating interacially. In fact I find it exciting to date people from different backgrounds, both culturally and racially. My own personal dating experiences with black men led me to realize that I didn't have to limit myself to one particular racial group simply because I identified with that group. I was blessed enough to be raised in a very diverse family, and community. I find that when it comes to personality and looks, I'm attracted to guys with similar traits whether they are white, black, latino or asian. I have a type, but it sure isn't defined by, or limited to, a particular race.

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