Why Dogs Sleep Alone
Okay, guys. Do you want a woman’s point of view on netiquette? Do you want to know what we like, what we don’t, and what makes us write a guy off forever? Listen up, and I’ll tell you everything you need to know to grab a girl’s interest and keep it.
First off, what not to do. Writing “Got milk?” to a woman with big boobs will NEVER put you in the same room with those boobs. Seriously, with some of you guys I wonder if you’re even trying. Sending pictures of your own anatomy? The only woman—and I mean, the only one—who’s going to like that probably wants your junk in a jar to decorate her serial killer’s hideout. Be afraid if that works.
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Seriously though, all that nasty business is wack in more ways than one. The definition of sexual assault is gratifying yourself with someone against their wishes. Well, just assume women don’t wish it, until you know otherwise. Then you can send pictures of yourself and a monkey if that’s what y’all are into. But wait for the green light, you feel me? Otherwise it’s like you’re some creepy child molester or something. And I know that’s not you, baby.
Also, let’s say a woman turns you down. I know, I know—not a great feeling. Don’t blame you for getting your feelings hurt. But why you gotta call her a bitch, a ho, or something worse? Doesn’t that kind of prove she was right to give you the brush-off? Haven’t you ever said “no” to anything? When you don’t give every homeless guy money, does that make him right about whatever he mutters about you when you walk by? We all have the right to say yes or no when somebody asks us for something. How about this: you say yes to everyone who asks you for something—like Jim Carrey in that stupid movie—and then you can call a woman names for not wanting to sleep with you. Until then, let’s all reserve our right to say “thanks, but no thanks.”
And don’t feel bad about it when a woman shows no love. Just because this one’s not interested doesn’t mean you’re not a fine man and some other lady won’t be lucky to have you! You know what you have to offer and don’t forget it.
If you want to put good thoughts in her head, here’s what you want to do. Be a gentleman. Who do you think a woman is more likely to get cozy with, a gentleman, or a dog? We all know you want to get in her pants, and that’s nature—nothing wrong with it—but they call ‘em manners because they’re a way of acting. Your manner better be polite, respectful and flattering if you want nature to take its course. You got to court a woman, baby! Sweet-talk her. Takes some patience to get the honey. Buzz around that hive just as sweet as can be. If she’s not into it, find another hive. It’s the Internet, there’s more honey out there than you could handle in a hundred years.
Read her profile, pick up on what she’s into and talk about it. Make her feel special, like you took extra time to think about her before you emailed. She’ll appreciate that you didn’t send a form letter—or a horn-dog howl. If she likes your picture and thinks you have something in common, you’re one step closer to your goal. If you can make her laugh, you’re golden—but don’t be crass. Flattery will get you far, just don’t talk about her body south of her smile.
Ladies love a confident man, but don’t be pushy. Act like she’s lucky to have caught your interest and if she doesn’t want it, someone else will. Be cool. We love it when a man is mysterious. We actually love it when he’s got other girls on the hook, though it drives us crazy too. It’s like business, demand drives up the value. Don’t seem desperate, even if you are! Those guys who hit girls with all these come-ons just get ignored or even kicked off the site, if they’re too sleazy about it.
As things move on and you’re trading emails or IMs or whatever, be romantic not rude. Show an interest in her life, what she likes to do, where she grew up… Treat her like a person you want to get to know. Someone you might do anything for, one day. We want our men to protect us, cherish us, treat us right. You want to come off as somebody who can do that and do it well.
Flirty’s good, but let her set the pace. If she gets dirty, you get dirty. If she keeps it clean, you do the same. But remember your goal is to get her out on a date, so don’t get too frisky with those IMs and blow it.
You gotta have some class if you want that… Excuse me, I almost forgot my manners. ;) Let’s try this: be polite if you want to have fun tonight. Show your lust and all you get is disgust!
Good luck to all you gentlemen who know how to treat a lady!
11 responses to "Why Dogs Sleep Alone"
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oromariposa06 says:Posted: 20 Jun 11
The key is to treat her like a lady. Women do like a confident man but as the article said not pushy or too familiar at first. And did I mention not too be to shy to approach someone just because you might think you haven't got a chance ? She might just fool you !
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bkbass44 says:Posted: 16 Jun 11I have to say that I'm not entirely in agreement with everything that was said in this post. Of course that's based on MY personal experience. I think the most glaring thing for me was the comment about women liking when guys have other girls on the hook. That is someone I'd stay far away from, because it tells me that they believe that just because I have a bunch of females interested in me that somehow I'm worth more then the man next to me who has only one women interested in him. The old saying " A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush" applies here. I'm the type of man who doesn't avail himself to multiple women at one time. I'm WAY too special to dilute myself like that. A woman who decides to be with me deserves me at my fullest. The woman who passes me by just because my plate isn't full is missing out on the amazing experience that is me.. and that's from a space of TRUE confidence.. not arrogance. I have also learned that most women really don't know what they want or say what they mean and they play games and ask 4 pre-questions just to find out what they really want to know. I happen to be the most face value person you'll ever meet and I'm continually amazed at how many women choose to ignore me when I tell them to just ask me what you want to know. As far as men inappropriately approaching women on a sexual level, I have 2 things to say to that end. First.. if you want to be treated like a classy woman, you must first present yourself as one. It makes me laugh when I see a woman who has her cleavage to the point that there's more boob OUT than in, and the dress is so tight and short that you can see the blood running thru her veins and the outline of her vag... but she complain when she gets the "wrong" type of attention. Give me a break.. If you don't want people to make sexual comments... then don't dress that way. I'm not saying that guys don't make comments to women who are more conservatively dressed, but sometimes women ask for the comments. The second thing I wanted to say was that women approach men inappropriately as well. If we're just meeting and getting to know each other, how much I make.. what I drive.. what size house I live in.. is none of your business. So if us talking about sex is taboo, then so is finance. Get to know the person. get to know their character. Just wanted to keep it real.. and fair.....
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prettykarey says:Posted: 15 Jun 11vamtheanormaly.....hahahahahahaha,you are truly confused....lol
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vamtheanomaly says:Posted: 12 Jun 11Oh and another thing...why the moderation of comments? Whats the point of posts and a forum if everything someone says is going to be policed and only the stuff everyone "thinks" they want to hear is allowed? Holla back atcha boi! Im quite the Confusing Anomaly.
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vamtheanomaly says:Posted: 12 Jun 11
I completely disagree with about 90% of the stuff said for the simple fact that ALLOT of women will say one thing and mean another. Nice guys finish last imo. Yeah im kinda trollin. But there is some truth to this troll. Women want a man that is cocky AND funny at the same time and will bust on her with the attitude of "I dont care if this works or not." No offense poster that was a WELL written article, but this isnt 1950.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 11 Jul 11
You won't get far with any decent black woman,LOL . I promise you !
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Mocha81 says:Posted: 29 May 11
I think good manners are essential, in every walk of life. 1. Personally, I'd prefer that the man not be mysterious or play mind (or etiquette games for that matter) to try to get my interest. I'd rather that he didn't feign interest in me or my life just to be polite enough get me on a date. What's the goal here anyway, to get on a date or to find the right person? Mine is the latter. 2. I'm not sure I see what's wrong with the guy taking the lead. This can be done without pushiness, no? I'm starting to think I'd have been really comfortable in the 50s.(Yes,me & back bone.) 3. Also, the notion that forces of demand and supply could drive any one's interest in a guy is sad. Shouldn't one know what one wants? A quality man is a quality man regardless (and vice versa). The number of admirers doesn't change his intrinsic value. Purely my opinion.
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needlove77 says:Posted: 28 May 11
wow, you would think it go's with out saying but sadly it has to be said. nice read.
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