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The Law of Attraction in the Game of Love

Posted by Leticia, 15 Aug

Anisa Aven knows all there is to know about the law of attraction, how to help singles learn how to attract a man and how to attract a woman so they can attract the mate of their dream. In fact she's a Soulmate Specialist, so listen in and who knows maybe she can help you find that special someone.

Dr. Wright:
Hi! This is Dr. Leticia Wright from IDC dating.com. IDC dating.com is where we are creating multicultural relationships everyday. Today, my guest is Anisa Aven from Create a Vision.com and we are going to talk about attracting a mate. Let me tell you a little about Anisa Aven. She is a creative life coach specializing in the law of attraction and how singles can attract the mate of their dream. Anisa is the author of multiple courses and recorded audio series on how to apply the laws of creation to attract success, wealth, and happiness. She is a nationally published author of "Ask the Soul Mate Coach" column in the single magazines across the country and she is the author of the 21-day course "Navigate Your Faith, Create a Mate". Welcome Anisa.

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Anisa Aven:
Hello! Thanks for having me.

Dr. Wright:
A lot of people don't really know about the law of attraction. So, why don't you take a minute and really explain to us what the law of attraction is.

Anisa Aven:
Excellent. The law of attraction is something that whether we realized it or not we're actually operating at its mercy or at our beck and call we get to take the opportunity to learn how to apply it. But it's working in our lives whether we realize it or not. So, it's what Christians might say when Jesus said "Ask and it is given" or if you shall say that this mountain move, it shall be done and all these things and greater things you shall do. In other cultures, it's the thought process that goes like what you put your attention upon expand or get what you give in life. So, many, many cultures are already very aware of what the law of attraction is, but it's basically what we are constantly working with whether we realize it or not, and what I teach, I teach my client how to put their attention upon what they want so that they can intentionally attract and draw, and magnetize it into a life using that law of attraction.

Dr. Wright:
So, we really all used the law of attraction. I guess most people just don't have heard the term or the main law of attraction.

Anisa Aven:
That's right.

Dr. Wright:
Okay. Now, you talk about attracting who you want and you go into depth with people about how to attract the mate. Should we be trying to attract a specific person or what should we be looking at?

Anisa Aven:
It's such an incredible question. I had an article on my website that addressed this very saying and I probably have had half a dozen of them just specifically on, but I really want to attract a specific person and my advice is always, the universe God, whatever you want to call the higher power always, always, always had our best interest in mind. When we say, I really want that person in my life, what end up happening is, we end up focusing on that person as oppose to what we really want. But in a healthy relationship that person we have no idea whether or not that person can really fulfill the need and provide us with a healthy relationship we want and so my advice is, it's really not about specific person at all. No matter how crazy we may be about one particular person, it's really how that person makes us feel which we want more of that we want to focus on.

Dr. Wright:
Okay.

Anisa Aven:
Can that make sense?

Dr. Wright:
Yes, that makes total sense. Now, what do you tell people when they come to you and they say I'm not even sure a true love is for me. There is no one out there for me or the woman that are really scared about the "man shortage."

Anisa Aven:
Yes, absolutely. I believe and this is what I teach with the clients and I've seen this in action and if there were scientific measurements to prove this then I know it could be proven, it's just that our science hasn't been able to track our intention and our thought processes to the point of really being able to systematically prove this but that question, Linda itself did a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I believe that there is not anyone else out there that I'm going to be really attracted to; I'll give you an example, I have a client who I've been working with her for about six months and she is in her mid-40s, very athletic, very fit, beautiful, active, on the go, has an incredible social circle, and her experience was reflected in her belief and her belief were "No man at may age is going to be as active and fit and attractive as I feel that I want." But it has been on her limited circle of influence. Well, actually I shouldn't even say limited, but because her belief were, no one is going as fit as me, then she couldn't draw into her experience anyone who is as fit as her. So, if we have a belief that there is a shortage of men, all the good ones are taken, I'm not going to attracted to the one that are attracted to me, then that what we get back.

Dr. Wright:
So, even as a fit attracted guy was standing next to her, she couldn't see him?

Anisa Aven:
That's exactly right. Another belief ironically with her was she believed that if she was attracted to them they would end up being a smoker and I can't....

Dr. Wright:
That's an interesting association.

Anisa Aven:
A combination and I cannot tell you how many men would ask her out, she'll been like "Oh my gosh! He was so cute" and then they go out on a date or something, and then she goes "You're not going to believe this" of course I am, he smoke right? She goes "How did you know?" and then I said I keep telling you, if you will give up your attention upon that, focus on what you really want to attract and believed that that exist, believed that love exist for you. Believed that you can have a healthy, fit, attractive, athletic man in your life that also believe in health internally, so they don't smoke. You'll get that and she did it eventually release that limiting believe and she is now very happily married.

Dr. Wright:
Now, is that the same as the law of detachment that you teach?

Anisa Aven:
That is a really a good question. The law of detachment simply says that if you want something, you must release your attachment to it in order to have it come in to your life. The reason that the law of detachment is sort a secondary law because the law of attraction says wanting (inaudible) whereas the law of detachment is most of us will want something. We really, really, really, really, really want a relationship, but as we go along and we try online dating and let's us we get a couple of rejection and it makes us feel bad, so we bow out and said "Oh! That doesn't work." Or there are only freaks online, or whatever excuses we tell ourself to keep ourselves, our ego from getting hurt again, but then we still find a way in a living room wishing that we have someone to share our dinner with. What happens when we are too attached to what we really, really, really want is we have doubts about getting it.

Dr. Wright:
Okay.

Anisa Aven:
That doubt prevent us from allowing it and that's where the law detachment must come in. We must have pure believe in order to use this law of attraction consciously.

Dr. Wright:
Okay, give us a little more of nuts and bolts about on how to work the law of detachment, specifically what we would do or say to ourselves?

Anisa Aven:
Very good. If you ever done anything if a person...let's take the recent Olympics. If an ice skater is on the ice and she is so nervous because she doesn't want to go home without that gold. She may be the number one ranked skater in the world but if she so attached to that gold that she can't let go of it for that four minutes or whatever it is that she is on the ice, it will produced an actual nervousness, an actual energy that doesn't have anywhere to go and it can actually cause that skater to fall down; the same forth in our life. If we want something so bad that we can't let it go to where we can get in the flow and then handed over to God, handed over to the universe, we actually produced circumstances that actually inspire us to have negative experiences or to get so nervous that we fall down. So, the nuts and bolts of the law of detachment is literally find a way to make peace with what it is while maintaining a trust and a belief that all you desire is within your reach that you have the pure potentiality to actually obtained it. So, a way to do that could be through meditation, could be through prayer, could through there is a some energy techniques out there like emotional freedom technique or some of the other ones where you literally, you process your limiting belief and that's what attachment really is. Attachment is our doubts that we can't have what we want. So, our job is to let go of anything that prevent us from feeling positive and self confident, and that is how we apply the law of detachment.

Dr. Wright:
Okay, you also tell people that they need to forgive to manifest something better...

Anisa Aven:
Yes.

Dr. Wright:
Talk about that a little bit.

Anisa Aven:
I have heard other really wise folks who talk about resentment and resentment is simply a negative experience that we continue to experience over and over and over and over again and with the law of attraction, whatever we put our attention upon expands then we it draw into our life. So, whenever we hold resentment especially towards the past mate, he wasn't kind enough to me. He wasn't faithful to me. She only loves me when I had money. She only cares for me when I was giving to her. Whatever those resentments are, it literally hold us in a vibrational place where that what we attract more of and so with the act of forgiveness, we leave the past where it belongs, in the past and that resentment, it doesn't do anything to our past love. It doesn't do anything to the person that harmed us, it only continues to harm ourselves and so the act of forgiveness, the act of saying, it doesn't matter what you did or how you did it to me, it doesn't matter if it was unjustified, and it doesn't matter whether or not you deserve to be forgiven; the only thing that matters is that I choose to forgive.

Dr. Wright:
So, resentment is just...that the action happened to us one time but by staying in resentment, we're just experiencing it again and again and again where it just could have been that one time and we never have to experience that again?

Anisa Aven:
You got it and by living it over and over and over in our mind, we end up living it over and over and over in our relationship.

Dr. Wright:
Does it make it harder to get rid of the limiting beliefs when you stayed in resentment for a while?

Anisa Aven:
Oh! You know that it does because then of course what we end up attracting is someone else that doesn't buy us flowers, someone else that only likes us for our money, someone else who is very selfish and ungiving and then it of course confirms, Ah! All women are these way. Ah! All men are that way; whereas if you leave the past in the past, you practice forgiveness and you can do this through prayers, through asking for help. There is a really great program out there called radical forgiveness; again emotional freedom technique, which is a technique that I do individually with clients and in group session. It is something that you can get in there and you can release the need. There is also a self-protective mechanism that sometimes kicks in the place that says "I can't forgive or it will happened again." that actually a false belief because the more we focused on it, the more we're likely to get it again.

Dr. Wright:
Okay. So, there is some people who actually believe by forgiving, they open themselves up to just having it happened all over the again...

Anisa Aven:
More pain.

Dr. Wright:
Where it is really they're holding onto it is doing that, not forgiving?

Anisa Aven:
That's exactly right.

Dr. Wright:
Okay.

Anisa Aven:
That's exactly right.

Dr. Wright:
Tell us some success stories of people that you worked with and some of your favorite kinds of client.

Anisa Aven:
Oh! Good. Probably, most recently one of my clients was having a really, really difficult time. He was unemployed and had been for about eight months and he is engineer and so this was really a challenging time for him and he was feeling just unworthy on all levels and we worked for probably three months and we did two basic exercises that he has (inaudible) that I talked about, and something that I call a living vision, which is where you focused on what you want as if you were a habit in a very (inaudible) 30-minute process, where you really intentionally focusing what you want and really get into the emotion of it. We did that for about three months. At the end of three months, he had a new job that paid him more than he had ever been paid. He was living in the city that he wanted to live in for about 10 years. He was relocated. He had about the end of the three months when he realized; okay my life is getting better. I'm excited about moving forward. He began opening up to finding a relationship again within three weeks of that he was dating three different potential mates and living really much more of a charm, and self confident, and enjoys his life whereas it has been 18 months (inaudible). Not of all that was unemployed but 18 months and he actually felt like he is even a remotely happy person.

Dr. Wright:
Okay. Now, can we use law of attraction online dating also?

Anisa Aven:
Oh! Absolutely. I always encouraged my client to use the law of attraction when they are...and you realize this phenomenal incredible thing of online dating. What we get to do is, one of the things that is really easy to use the law of attraction is to simply sit down and write a list of what you want in a relationship. This list can be, I want someone who is loving, someone who is kind, generous, forgiving, sexy, attractive, secure, prosperous whatever it is, and then you write a list of what you don't want. I don't want someone who is selfish, I don't want someone who is egotistical, I don't want someone who is so into the sport that they don't have time for a relationship, I don't...what ever it is; and you use that second list then said alright, if I don't want someone that is completely consumed with hunting, what it is that I do want? And then you write it on the other list, which is the list of you do want. So, then you might say well, I really want someone who can have a healthy hobby but still has a healthy reasonable amount of time to nurture a relationship and who can have time to get into me. So, when you have this list of what you want, it's an incredible way to use that list to write a profile, a profile of who you are as well as who you are in a relationship and what you want.

Dr. Wright:
Wow! That is so neat. It's so exciting and I think people don't know what a great tool it is to be able to use online dating list from home and get a love life started.

Anisa Aven:
Oh! Absolutely, you can use online dating and the law of attraction, you've got the opportunity to use this trim tab to where you're accessing so many more potential mates in this phenomenal sea of online dating and with the law of the attraction, you get to go on a couple of dates and go, "Oh! Isn't this interesting?" This gentleman didn't take up the tab and if it happens to be someone who said "I want someone who treats me, who had an old fashion way of relationship" and this person didn't, they get to go "Oh! On my next date, I want to feel cared for, I want to feel cherished, I want to feel like they are incredibly generous with their mate and then the next one, and the next one, you kind of get to go back to your list of what you want and find (inaudible) and as you do that you will actually inspire those who begin asking you out to be much more alignment with this refined list until eventually you have your masterpiece.

Dr. Wright:
That is really great. It so wonderful to talk with you. I loved talking about law of attractions and the way you've explained everything makes it easy for us to use it...

Anisa Aven:
Excellent.

Dr. Wright:
When we're trying to attract the mate. Thank you so much. (Inaudible). We've been talking with Anisa Aven. She is from Create a Vision.com and this is Dr Leticia Wright for IDC dating.com creating multicultural relationships everyday.

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  1.   Revern says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 07

    This article was very interesting. Thanks!

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  2.   desiree says:
    Posted: 23 Jan 07

    physical attraction is what first draws someone's attention. like 90% of the nation could agree with that one. but after the introduction is presented, the personality is what usually makes that person a diamond, or just a lame rock. u know lol i like to think that personality overrides the looks, but research shows that it doesnt. not in most cases.

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  3.   ebonybeautyj says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 06

    Thanks for this! I needed it!

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  4.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 06

    I found the article to be interesting. To me attraction is purely physical at first but personality eventually overshadows the physical. Someone can be a beautiful person but with an ugly personality she becomes unattractive to me. I find the opposite to be true to a certain extent.

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  5.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 19 Dec 06

    I love reading these...the comments are funny!

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  6.   nicefella115 says:
    Posted: 09 Dec 06

    great stuff......wow

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  7.   xhotlover says:
    Posted: 09 Dec 06

    Yes, "ask and it shall be given. Knock and it will be opened." What you think you receive. I think the articles metaphysical approach is right. So many times on this website, you will have daters, not respond because they don't think the profile of the pursuer is a match. But the universe will bring you an unexpected match and then everyone says "the site did not work. LOL

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  8.   ebonybeautyj says:
    Posted: 03 Dec 06

    Attraction must be at hand along with chemisrty

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  9.   Coco says:
    Posted: 12 Nov 06

    Someone wrote "how can someone overcome attraction to older married lady?"...Answer is imagine her HUSBAND pounding you into a mound of dust!

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  10.   Coco says:
    Posted: 03 Nov 06

    Married and attached men are always buzzing around me. I guess most can't get past what they see physically. I believe in karma so not attracted to and never will date a married or attached man!

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  11.   marquez097 says:
    Posted: 03 Nov 06

    Attraction is the first step. If you dont connect you might as well be dating a stuffed animal. Its cute and possably has as much personality.

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  12.   ebonybeautyj says:
    Posted: 30 Oct 06

    This article is confusing and it didnt get anything from it???

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  13.   naturallyliz says:
    Posted: 19 Oct 06

    This article was poorly written and difficult to read.

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  14.   Sweetheart says:
    Posted: 07 Oct 06

    This is all good information, but it seems like I could never attract the right man. Seems like the ones I am attracted too are taken and the ones I am not attract too are all over me.

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  15.   bradlee says:
    Posted: 14 Sep 06

    Well, I don't buy it. Some of it is true of course, but...nah.

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  16.   Daphney says:
    Posted: 14 Sep 06

    I met a really nice white guy on this site the other day, we are a wonderful and perfect match; we will be taking the time to get to know each other however I am so scared I don't know what to do. I haven't been with a man in over 14yrs and I don't want to mess this up with him or any man for that matter. Can somebody help me because I want a husband, someone to love, honor, trust and enjoy intimacy?

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  17.   babymeat says:
    Posted: 12 Sep 06

    i hope to find a handsome hunk!!!

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  18.   UNME23 says:
    Posted: 12 Sep 06

    I SO LONG AWAIT TO FIND A BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ON THE OUTSIDE!!!

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  19.   heartnsoul23 says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 06

    It is all in how a person carries themselves......you know you have all seen a woman or a man with their significant other and thought...damn...how did they ever get them! Well, that other person may not have the looks or the body, but they have the attitude. Looks fade and the body sags but the attitude more then like will always stay. So if you believe in yourself and know exactly what you want and don't want, and live your life that way, I believe that the person we all search for is right in front of our face, we just have to open our eyes.

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  20.   whytb0y says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 06

    i believe attraction is like you said ,how a person makes you feel , i don't need tyra banks although i wouldnt complain if i had ger lol , a woman that is ordinary with a great personality to me is just as attractive as a super model

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  21.   diva says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 06

    attracting a guy is easy. keeping him interested is the hard part!

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  22.   notshytc says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 06

    some of this is true

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  23.   ebonybeautyj says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 06

    Wonderful article,keep them coming!

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  24.   TrueHarmony says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 06

    This is very good and interesting information. I appreciate you posting this interview!

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  25.   sweetest1 says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 06

    I think attraction only goes so far... once the initial attraction is over and you get to the guts of the relationship is what really counts!! I can find someone just walking down the street... but I choose to look for a man that is kind and going somewhere in life, non-smoker... as opposed to someone who is just letting life go by....but the right woman can encourage her man to strive and accomplish more than if he were alone. Laws of atrraction?? blah... I'd rather just be who I am and take it from there!!

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  26.   embraceme says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 06

    I SAT HERE AND LISTENED TO THIS ARTICLE AND IT SEEMS THAT IT IS A BUNCH OF CRAP... LISTEN ATTRACTION IS A PART OF LIFE.. IF YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE THEN THERE IS NO LOVE.. AND NO REALTIONSHIP.. I THINK THAT PEOPLE REALLY DONT KNOW WHY THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO OTHER MEN OR WOMEN.. I THINK IT IS ALL A LEARNING EXPERIENCE..AND TO BE HONEST I BELIEVE THAT NOT ONE REALTIONSHIP HAS BECOME FROM THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.. THERE IS GOING TO BE SOMETHING IN ONE ANOTHER YOU DONT FIND ATTRACTIVE .. THE MAIN PURPOSE HERE IS LOOK WITHIN THE HEART AND FEEL THAT NO MATTER WHAT DISLIKES YOU HAVE FOR SOMEONE THEY CAN BE OVERCOME.. JUST LOOK WITH IN YOURSELF AND SAY .. WE ALL FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD AND WE ALL MUST HAVE FAITH THAT THIS IS AND THIS IS WHAT IT IS AND ACCEPT TEH GOOD WITH THE BAD AND WORK THROUGH IT...

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  27.   auroraxxx says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 06

    ahhh so if the higher power has my best interests in mind please send me a MAN whom is handsome,athletic,rich,understanding,good cook that can clean house,repair stuff,honest,hard working,intelligent,has a great bod,attentive,passionate,tallented,and can leave the toilet seat down ta that will do for now ehhehehe

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  28.   TJ says:
    Posted: 05 Sep 06

    Isn't this a spin of the self-fulling prophecy?

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  29.   Carla says:
    Posted: 05 Sep 06

    I was wondering if there is any explanation as to why black men are often attracted to white women and why white women are often attracted to black men?

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  30.   M says:
    Posted: 05 Sep 06

    THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE ADVICE.

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  31.   misslady1970 says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 06

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE ADVICE...

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  32.   kenyanito says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 06

    What do you do when you know its over but you cannot come to terms with the truth? Kenya

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  33.   JENN says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 06

    WE SHOULD ALWAYS TRY TO FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES IN LIFE... SO MANY OF US ARE UNAWARE OF HOW WE CAN TALK INTO EXISTENCE THE NEGATIVE ASPECTS IN A MATE....

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  34.   UNME23 says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 06

    SEEMS LIKE TO ME, EVERYBODY I'M ATTRACTED TO, ISNT TOWARDS ME!!!

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  35.   ebonybeautyj says:
    Posted: 03 Sep 06

    God is the ULTIMATE matchmaker,he knows best so i await him!

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  36.   Carla says:
    Posted: 03 Sep 06

    How can you overcome an attraction of an older married woman?

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  37.   Sweetheart says:
    Posted: 02 Sep 06

    Although we did not agree with everything my sweetheart and I thought this was a great article.

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  38.   leonies says:
    Posted: 02 Sep 06

    Prior comment, I was referring to Anisa Aven Not Dr. Wright Please make the correction.

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  39.   Leonies says:
    Posted: 02 Sep 06

    I can tell by this article (Law of attraction) that DR. WRIGHT is a Christian, however she did not mention it. I could be wrong though, so my question is are you a Christian DR. Wright?

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  40.   iceburber says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 06

    How can one overcome attraction of older married lady?

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  41.   jimmirix says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 06

    Interesting read. Practical too. Thanks!

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  42.   yoby says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 06

    well this might be true, but it is kinda complicated stuff for something very easy to understand!

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  43.   jenn says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 06

    pretty interesting stuff!!!

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  44.   misslady1970 says:
    Posted: 30 Aug 06

    I MUST NEED HELP IN ATTRACTING THE RIGHT MAN FOR ME, I LOVE THIS SUTE BUT IT SEEMS ALL THE SO CALLED PLAYAS , TRY ME,I THINK I'M OLD ENOUGH TO TELL GAME WHEN I HEAR IT......AND THEN I HAVE TO PUT THERE TAIL IN CHECK, MAYBE I'M A LIL TO MUCH FOR MOST MEN TO HANDLE......BUT I STILL SAY, IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME, AS THE WOMAN I AM......THEN APPROACH ME IN THE RIGHT WAY, IF NOT KEEP STEPPIN........

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  45.   maria says:
    Posted: 30 Aug 06

    I agree with some of the things you say, but for me, attractions happen at first sight.

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  46.   Carla says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 06

    Its interesting to read but I am not sure that I agree with all of that......I mean sometimes attraction can happen at first site....

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  47.   Pamela says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 06

    I think it's all physical from when you first meet but then you get to know the person and that's the deciding factor. You can meet someone that's very sexy but their attitude may be a big turn off.

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  48.   misotall says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 06

    Some very thought provoking points-Thanks!

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  49.   lucckey says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 06

    Thank for the article but can somebody be attracted to someone at first sight and the relationship succeed in the future.

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  50.   Ruben says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 06

    This is vey interesting. Informative. Something to always keep in mind.

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I will never forget my first time using the Coaching Service I was introduced to my personal Dating Coach. Let me put it this way, if it was not for her I would have given up long time ago (even though I'm a new member).

She taught me so many things and gave me good advice, I did not want to stop chatting with her at all.

She opened my eyes to many possibilities when finding love. She is definitely an inspiration and I appreciate a whole lot. She is more than a Dating Coach to me; she is more of a close friend/guide to me. She is definitely my "online love-inspiration angel".

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