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Should you care about a spouse being openly affectionate if they treat you well?

Posted by James, 10 Jul

Is affection the foundation that can hold a relationship together?

A friend of mine has been complaining about his husband's lack of affection. It's not like they don't have sex. If anything, their sex life is fantastic. However, she wants more... She wants the constant "I love you"s, the holding hands, the gifts... She wants the husband to tell her she is beautiful and sexy...

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Now, this dude really loves this woman. He respects her, adores her and would go out of his way to make her happy... But the only thing he has trouble with is using words and gifts to express his feelings to his woman.

There are men who will do all the lovey-dovey things that their wives want to be done for or be told and still cheat on their women and have no respect for them. They are never truly there and talk down on their spouses. So the gifts and the weekend getaways are a way of them buying their way out.

Is respect more crucial than some fairy tale romance?

What is love really? If this woman sees the love and feels the love, should she have to hear it? Shouldn't my pal just be comfortable with the fact that this dude really cares about her, is always there for her and respects her?

Can love really exist without respect? What would you choose? Gifts and words or respect?

3 responses to "Should you care about a spouse being openly affectionate if they treat you well?"

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Prismatic says:

Posted: 21 Jul 18

"Can love really exist without respect? What would you choose? Gifts and words or respect?" Love doesn't exist without respect period. Cheaters and abusers always say they love the person they are hurting. If you truly are in love with someone then you wouldn't hurt them like that. But why should you choose? I'm going to guess a lot of people are going to get hung up on the materialistic part of this. But the story and last question reiterate that he doesn't buy her gifts AND doesn't express his feelings in words. Saying I love you doesn't cost anything. Telling someone how much you appreciate them doesn't cost anything either. Writing a love letter doesn't cost anything either. So yes I would address this to my SO. Having great sex isn't a key factor that her emotional needs are being met. As for gifts, they don't mean anything if there is no sentiment to it. It needs to relate to the person and have meaning or it's just stuff.

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KortB says:

Posted: 14 Jul 18

She needs to learn the different ways people who love. He may be he has been expressing his love and she’s too stuck on the materialistic things to recognize it.

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Gdluckcharm says:

Posted: 11 Jul 18

I would take respect over materialistic things any day. My ex was a cheating man and brought me gifts when he was leaving to go see his mistress. I'm not saying all men do that, but a majority of them do. I believe a respectful man was either raised properly or listened to someone that was. I know there are still good men in this world, I just have to find one.

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