Let's take a trip to Fantasy Island
So, I'm doing the do...and all of a sudden out of nowhere thoughts of my ex pop into my mind. Now, let me help you out here. I'm talking about the high school/college ex. The "we don't really know what we're doing, but we're going to do it anyway ex". The "I haven't seen you in over 10 years, don't you have four kids now, ex". I'm happy to say that I do know that fantasies are very "normal" for both men and women...my question is, do you talk about yours to your mate...should you?
From the time I was pre-teen I knew that I was going to like sex. Don't ask me how I knew, I just knew. I also knew that I could never do it until I was ready to do it all the time. So, I waited and I waited. What I didn't wait for was the thinking about it. I've always had a very graphic imagination and wondered if I was normal, because no one ever talked about girls thinking about or wanting sex.
Find your soulmate on Swirlr
That was just the boys. It was said that was all that boys thought about...sex! Imagine my confusion. Was I born a boy and by some freak accident ended up with breast? What's wrong with me? It would be after college before I found out that I was normal. That not only did girls, women even "ladies" think about sex, they even enjoyed a little sex, with people that they were not married to or in some cases...not even in a serious relationship with.
Well, since I waited so long to do the do, I'd convinced myself that I had to be in love before doing it...so, I waited until I was. Now, I did mention that I was a little slow right? Now, imagine, I've waited all this time and everything is great. Then one day, out of the blue, it happened. I don't know how or why, it just did. His hand was going one place and my mind went somewhere else, with someone else. I felt guiltier than the time I broke my mom's favorite crystal angel and blamed it on my poodle Sassy.
To relieve my guilt afterwards, I asked a question that at any other given time; I'd never want to hear the answer yes to... "Do you every think of anyone else while we're doing it?" His answer, "No, do you"? Again, here I go thinking I was born a boy, with breast. I lied. Nope. Only you. That was then. Now, well, let's just say that I have a list and some things I'm checking off twice. Personally, I love to share my fantasies with my mate. He finds them humorous most of the time.
Here are a few sexual fantasies that both Men and Women have:
- Fantasies about their current partner
- Sexual domination (non violent)
- Sex with another Man or Woman or both @ same time
- Giving or Receiving Oral Sex
- Anal Sex
- Sex with a Stranger
- Having Your Partner Masturbate for You
- Voyeurism and Exhibitionism
- Sex with an ex
- Fantasies involving romantic sex
Feel free to add your own fantasies. Go ahead dare to dream, to have your cake and fantasy too. Sharing may be a bigger payoff than you think. Remember though, sometimes it's better to dream it than live it. This is Leticia, asking "what's your fantasy"?
Related Stories
Responses to "Let's take a trip to Fantasy Island"
Be the first to leave a comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
-
-
-
-
maishagal says:Posted: 11 Feb 07What a great article...hav been discussng trying new sexual experiences lately :)
Reply to this comment -
-
-
sweetest1 says:Posted: 21 Dec 06I rarely fantasize, but when I do they are pretty darn good!! :-P
Reply to this comment -
Cocokisses says:Posted: 14 Dec 06Fantasy keeps the spice in relationships. If the couple isn't hurting anyone outside of their own union, then more power to them!
Reply to this comment -
romeoluvs says:Posted: 04 Dec 06fantasies are fun if they are good and perverted minds fantasies are crap.
Reply to this comment -
xina03 says:Posted: 09 Nov 06I believe that fantasies (I mean the good ones' not those perverted mind) are what keep us alive and make our relationship works.....
Reply to this comment -
ebonybeautyj says:Posted: 08 Nov 06Healthy, sane fantasies are fine, just dont cross the line
Reply to this comment -
Coco says:Posted: 07 Nov 06
C'mon ladies...nothing wrong with a little fantasy. Long term relationships have been spicing it up for years...we should learn from those in them.
Reply to this comment -
aantonio says:Posted: 27 Oct 06
Fantasies is something that can be just a dream or you can eventually make into reality. Me personally, i have a few fantasies i would like to do someday, with that write one. HOwever, you must know how to balance fantasies and dreams
Reply to this comment -
Traceeeee says:Posted: 24 Oct 06FANTASIES R GOOD BUT THEY ARE JUST FANTASIES
Reply to this comment -
-
iceburger says:Posted: 16 Oct 06I guess at times its ok to have the fantasies, but keep them deep withing you, for one may mention them to the partner, and break that they have created. People are very different.
Reply to this comment -
lizzy2005 says:Posted: 15 Oct 06I think everyone has fantasies. however, if I am being intimate with someone I would hope that I don't need to think about anyone else to enjoy myself.
Reply to this comment -
embraceme says:Posted: 14 Oct 06
UPDATE SINCE LAST WROTE..FANTASIES ARE NEEDED HERE..LOL.. WILL CONSIDER TAKING A MAN WITH A HOME AND LOTS OF LOVE TO GIVE INSTEAD OF FANTASIES.. LET ME HANDLE THE FANTASIES AND YOU HANDLE ME... LOL.. I THINK THIS SITE HAS PROVEN WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT IT IS ALL ABOUT FANTASIES.. ALL THE MEN ON HERE AND ALLL THE WOMEN FANTASY ABOUT EVERYONE LOL... ESPECIALLY ME IF YOU MEN KNEW LOL..
Reply to this comment -
ebonybeautyj says:Posted: 13 Oct 06
Fantasies give us all hope of finding true love..
Reply to this comment -
Candy says:Posted: 13 Oct 06Good old fantasies, got to love them... But, i prefer the real deal :)
Reply to this comment -
-
unme23 says:Posted: 12 Oct 06fantasies are fun, when you think of them, knowing that they will never come true.
Reply to this comment -
whytb0y says:Posted: 12 Oct 06
RE NIKKI'S POST TO -26th of Sep, 2006 Fantasies are nice because you can explore your freaky side or your romantic side with out actually doing it 4 real ,Now living them out is a whole different story,personally my fantasy is to own a beautuful home with my flawlessy beautiful wife and our incredibly awsome kids and just be a loving happy family ,oh and having a massive bank account wouldn't hurt either lol. Wait is that more like a dream?? lol Posted by whytb0y RE-27th of Sep, 2006 WOW...to find a man that dreams or has fantasies about a wife and kids?! Now, that IS truly my fantasy! :) Posted by Nikki get at me and send me a note and lets talk .
Reply to this comment -
Candy says:Posted: 11 Oct 06
I would NOT tell my current mate... Why mess up a good thing, over an idea that ran cross your mind over someone you might never meet or see again... The mind playes tricks on you..But, if your in bed with your mate, in you seem to keeping about this ex, than somethings up...
Reply to this comment -
Deena says:Posted: 11 Oct 06
Fantasies can be a good thing or a bad thing. An ex from way back shared some of his with me and I was totally turned off by him..... especially since he wouldn't stop bothering me with them!!
Reply to this comment -
-
yoby says:Posted: 09 Oct 06phantasies are not only good and very natural, theey are also a good process for the mind, so it makes no sense to try to put them down or control them, it is BAD!!!
Reply to this comment -
angela33 says:Posted: 08 Oct 06Funny thing about fantasies you can't really control them when they pop into your head they kind of take over. Makes me kinda tingly inside. Fantasies shared with a partner should be pleasant and not scary. If you have doubts take soem time to think about it. Never do something that you are uncomfortable with. Fantasies should be shared with someone that you trust and your partner should understand if ou do not want to share in the fantasy. You can always start out with something mild and work your way up to it. Or create a fantasy together.Add to the story so to speak. Its so fun try it! Angela
Reply to this comment -
Dora says:Posted: 08 Oct 06There is nothing better than the human imagination. Some fantasies should be shared and others need to be kept to yourself because they would cause more problems than necessary. Sharing healthy fantasies could add some spice to your life.
Reply to this comment -
JADE74 says:Posted: 08 Oct 06Fantasies are good...some are best kept to yourself. We all have them.
Reply to this comment -
CarolinaQT says:Posted: 07 Oct 06There's absolutely nothing wrong with fantasizing. Although it would be nice to say we should only fantasize about the one we're with, realistically, your mind can take you places that you know you don't need to be sometimes. We're all human, it happens :)
Reply to this comment -
iceburger says:Posted: 07 Oct 06
Fantasy is quite normal. It makes one have that deja vu.
Reply to this comment -
CarolinaQT says:Posted: 07 Oct 06
There's absolutely nothing wrong with fantasizing. Although it would be nice to say we should only fantasize about the one we're with, realistically, your mind can take you places that you know you don't need to be sometimes. We're all human, it happens :)
Reply to this comment -
CarolinaQT says:Posted: 06 Oct 06
There's absolutely nothing wrong with fantasizing. Although it would be nice to say we should only fantasize about the one we're with, realistically, your mind can take you places that you know you don't need to be sometimes. We're all human, it happens :)
Reply to this comment -
justknowingu says:Posted: 06 Oct 06
Good article...very thought provoking...but don't want to reflect on things in the past too much!---
Reply to this comment -
BrwnBeauty says:Posted: 05 Oct 06
Fantasy is the stuff dreams are made of, without them, we have nothing to strive to achieve.
Reply to this comment -
-
babymeat says:Posted: 04 Oct 06
boy, do i love some of me fantasies.........lol
Reply to this comment -
sweetest1 says:Posted: 03 Oct 06
I think we have a lot in common...lol. I never really fantasized about same sex or more than one partner.... but I've been caught day-dreaming about it all too often!! hehehe They say women aren't as obvious as men about it... but I think a look on my face says it all because people always seem to know *blush*
Reply to this comment -
xina03 says:Posted: 03 Oct 06
Fantasies are very entertaining.....and I like for all my fantasies to come true....
Reply to this comment -
Carla says:Posted: 03 Oct 06
I think if we dont have fantasies then something is wrong....they are natural part of life....just my h/o 2 cents
Reply to this comment -
justknowingu says:Posted: 02 Oct 06
Great article... fanatasies are very much worth having and entertaining--'cause sometimes they do come true!!
Reply to this comment -
pooh says:Posted: 02 Oct 06fantasies are great, relationship without it can be boring. But, some fantasies might just have to remain as is
Reply to this comment -
ebonybeautyj says:Posted: 02 Oct 06
Fantasies help you to dream and keeps love alive!
Reply to this comment -
charlee1 says:Posted: 02 Oct 06i have one particular fantasy that i would love to share with you guys, but am way to shy!! lol
Reply to this comment -
lizzy2005 says:Posted: 02 Oct 06
I myself think fantasies are normal. I personally have a good one of my own. But I'm not tellin lol!
Reply to this comment -
kenyanito says:Posted: 02 Oct 06Please keep up the good arcticles. Fantasies, yes they exist.
Reply to this comment -
Coco says:Posted: 02 Oct 06
Fantasies are perfectly normal, as long as they don't involve underage kids like those Dateline shows are always showing. Most of the men say that their urge to live out the fantasy outweighs the risk. In that case, its crazy but for the most part most of us are living out our fantasies without hurting anyone.
Reply to this comment -
Natural72 says:Posted: 01 Oct 06
Fantasies keep it exciting and give both of you something to look forward to!!
Reply to this comment -
Sweetheart says:Posted: 01 Oct 06
I have never had a relationship without a fantasy... Keeps things exciting!
Reply to this comment
Advice
-
Family Matters: Support and Understanding
Family Matters: Support and Understanding Interracial relationships have the power to bridge divides and foster a deeper understanding of one another's cultures. However, navigating the dynamics of family acceptance and building a supportive ...
-
Your Couple's Guide to Sexual Health
Your Couple's Guide to Sexual Health Love, passion, and trust form the foundation of any great relationship, but there's one vital aspect that sometimes gets overlooked – sexual health. This is your ultimate guide to maintaining a happ...
-
Let's Celebrate International Infinity Day!
Let's Celebrate International Infinity Day! Celebrate International Infinity Day on August 8, a day dedicated to recognizing the profound significance of the number 8 and its representation of infinite possibilities, boundless connections, and ...
-
Keeping Love and Friendship Balanced
Keeping Love and Friendship Balanced Love has the power to enrich our lives in profound ways, but it's equally essential to maintain strong connections with our friends. Balancing love and friendship is a delicate dance that requires att...
-
11 Signs He's Serious About You
11 Signs He's Serious About You These days, when it comes to commitment, it can feel impossible to know what men are thinking. Labels sometimes take longer to come than the feelings themselves, and our fear of getting hurt can make ...
-
Use the Power of Touch to Strengthen Your Relationship
Use the Power of Touch to Strengthen Your Relationship In a world dominated by technology, the significance of touch often goes unnoticed. However, when it comes to interracial dating, physical contact holds immense power to deepen connections and foster ...
-
Compatibility vs. Chemistry - What Makes Love Last?
Compatibility vs. Chemistry - What Makes Love Last? I don’t mean to pound the drum like this. Honestly. I don’t look for these articles; they just tend to find me. Thanks to living in the Information Age and the advent of Big Data, we now have the ...
-
Get Too Obsessed When You Like Someone?
Get Too Obsessed When You Like Someone? We’ve all done it. We start to like someone and suddenly we’ve built a whole narrative around what our future could look like with them. They feel like a rare antidote we’ve stumbled across that...
-
How to Plan a Surprise Birthday Party for Her
How to Plan a Surprise Birthday Party for Her Birthdays are a special occasion to celebrate the ones we love, and what better way to show your affection than by organizing a surprise birthday party for your special woman? It's a chance to create ...
-
THIS Mindset Keeps You Single
THIS Mindset Keeps You Single When people ask you the dreaded question “Why are you still single?” do you respond with any of the following? “There are no good men out there.” “Every guy I like doesn’t like me. Only ...
Find your soulmate on Swirlr
Coaching Testimonial
"The Coaching Service served as an incredible perk and has really enhanced my online dating experience"
Submitted by: Karen, USA, 34
My Dating Coach really took the time to go through my profile thoroughly. First she viewed my pictures and gave me great feedback.
She read through the written portion of my profile, line by line, and gave direct feedback on how to add my personality to it.
My amazing consultant, even asked how my contacts where going and offered a few suggestions to increase my interactions with new men.
I took her advice and made the suggested adjustments.
I have received more contact from men, more views, and have started communicating with more people which was the whole point of joining the site in the first place.
The Coaching Service served as an incredible perk and has really enhanced my online dating experience. Thanks!
Most Popular
- 1. Yes, Black Women DO Benefit from Interracial Dating and Marriage!
- 2. Raising Her Profile - to the Next Level
- 3. Video: How to Tell When a 'Rainbeau' is Interested
- 4. What to look for on a First Date
- 5. Cast a wide net or filter with care?
- 6. A Graceful Goodbye: End Of Date Etiquette
- 7. Contest: Valentine's "Extreme Profile Makeover"
- 8. Contest: What's Your New Years Relationship Resolution?
- 9. Glad I Found My Husband Before That Blonde Did!
- 10. Why are Some Black Women Hating on Michael Ealy's New, Non-Black Wife?
Just working so much these days..the grind..just thinking about a vacation seems like a fantasy...!!