Money ruins relationships!

Money can't buy love. But, if you are not driven by greed, you probably believe that money will never stand in the way of you and your partner.

Well...allow us to disagree.

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1. Different spending habits

People spend money differently, especially when it comes to prioritizing. Some give priority to bills and repayment of loans. If you are like me, you put yourself first. Some of us want to invest and secure the future, while others prefer to live for today. Something as simple as occasionally splurging on expensive champagne or shoes may bring issues in an otherwise stable relationship.

If partners aren't on the same page about how to spend their money, it's a recipe for disaster. On the other hand, those with similar attitudes towards money thrive. So try to communicate and come up with shared financial goals as much as possible.

2. Sharing money

It makes sense for a couple to combine their incomes and split their expenses. But, as sound as this financial strategy sounds, it can also trigger endless conflicts, which might ultimately wreck a relationship. This happens a lot when there is a considerable disparity in incomes. You probably started on the same level, then suddenly you are one breaking your back and bringing home the big bucks. Then you have to ask for permission to spend your own money! That's got to pinch, right?

Sourcing your mutual income only works well with couples who can communicate openly about their finances. If you really don't feel that your money is yours and that it's moreso your partner's, just split your shared expenses equally.

3. Financial strain

Couples agree that financial stress has adverse effects, primarily on marriage, regarding money and love relationships. Economic hardships diminish the levels of satisfaction in their relationships. Even though it starts as a financial struggle, it eventually evolves into emotional strain before long. Dissatisfaction will check in if you suddenly can't afford the romantic getaways that were the glue for your marriage. The worst bit is that couples tend to point fingers at one another about the dire financial situation. Then comes irritability, hostility, and eventually detest.

If you are struggling financially, learn to compromise, be open about your finances, and learn to communicate the navigation of your financial crisis together.

4. In laws’ involvement and interference

Another way money ruins relationships is through in-laws who forcefully involve themselves in one's partner's finances. This can be overwhelming. First, some are constantly asking for financial assistance for everything. Others want to make monetary decisions about how the two of you spend your money or what to invest in.

Talk to your partner and come up with some boundaries. If it is about assisting someone, they better have justifiable reasons. As for financial decisions about the two of you, don't compromise. The family needs to butt out. PERIOD!

5. Communication about money

"Money, money, money..." is such a touchy subject. Couples find it challenging to air their financial disagreements without emotions and tempers flaring up. Something as small as prioritizing a gym membership over an unpaid phone bill can instigate a severe shouting match. Unfortunately, tangible as it is, money carries a lot of emotional weight. So even when a couple is arguing about money, it goes deeper and touches things like control, self-esteem, and irresponsibility.

The more the money woes, the faster the couple gets entangled in this web of conflicts. Before long, the relationship is ruined.

6. Financial infidelity

Much as sexual fidelity wrecks relationships, financial fidelity does too. Hiding things about your finances, for instance, the yacht you bought 4 years ago, can be devastating if they find out that is the reason they never got the kitchen remodeled. Hiding things about your finances and your net worth makes the other person feel like you don't trust them. Distrust ruins relationships.

Talk openly about your issues, especially things like student loans or credit card debts, or anything that might come to bite you later.

So does money matter in a relationship?!

Unfortunately, yes! It's improbable that you will meet someone with the exact income, financial goals, and spending habits. However, that doesn't mean that these differences automatically mean your relationship is doomed. Instead, discussing them presents an opportunity for the two to understand these differences and compromise regarding what matters most.

Still, struggling? Here are a few tips that our team piled up on how to talk to your spouse about financial struggles.

1. Try to understand each other's values. Discuss why you value certain things and find a way to accommodate each other on such valuable items.
2. Decide who pays for what. Don't just assume that the other person will get the next phone bill. If splitting every bill in the middle is what will work, by all means, do so.
3. Don't impose your financial goals and strategies on your partner. This makes the other person feel like their goals aren't as important, leading to resentment.

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