Men Are Like Fish
A woman chases a man until she catches him but are you using the right bait to land the fish you want? Join Dr Wright as she reels in the answers with personal development trainer and author Steve Nakamoto.
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So this guy has been trained by the best. His 7-year career in the travel industry as a professional and international tour director has also provided countless opportunities to closely observe the social interactions between women and men.
His 13 years experience in the retail floral business also gives him a unique perspective on how people play the game of love with flowers, cards and gifts. He is also the author of the Dating Rocks: What every woman needs to know about catching a man.
Thank you for speaking to us today, Steve.
And then a lady once told me she said, "Steve, there is an old proverb. A man chases a woman until she catches him." So I thought about well, if she is doing the catching that makes the man the fish. So I thought well, therefore, the woman is the angler and the man is the fish.
So that is another way of looking at it. Because normally, we speak of relationship as a complex thing. And a metaphor is like a one-stop simplifier of concrete ideas. So that is how I came up with that.
So I say have something good to say. Learn to say it well. Say it with the proper emotion. Learn the kind of things you should not say particularly on your first couple of meetings. Do most of your focus on listening. I think you want to make it a kind of a balance kind of thing. And then also monitor your volume and tone control. So it is for good listening. So that is again, one of the sensory things, the audio channel. Make sure that you speak at speed that is enjoyable; different pitch, different rhythm, different speed, those things.
So many things are - - like even economics, like people feel like uncomfortable like if she is driving a clunker or lives in a dump or something like that or dresses really sloppy. That might - - he might see that. And she might not be like that all the time, and I am referring to dressing sloppy, but he might like that is not the right time to do that in the beginning.
So a woman has to realize that some men after a while are a little bit commitment phobic because they are just - - they have got so used to say no at that point. So I just said that they have to play. Play a man into the net. So you have to play - - you have to cut him some slack, reel him in slowly and always (inaudible).
And actually convince him that being in the net, which is being married, and is much better than swimming along aimlessly in their life. That is just the part because women sometimes just say, "I got him hooked. I got him." And that is not really true. There is a lot can go wrong between falling in love and getting married.
74 responses to "Men Are Like Fish"
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tarah says:Posted: 03 Apr 07
Wow, this seems allot of work is being put on the female...figuring this and that! I must say, I am very glad that I tend to bend towards the theory that "a man who FINDS a wife, finds a great thing". Because this interview to me clearly shows the difficulty a woman would have in finding a husband. I say women, just be yourself and the right man will find you!
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Pleasjure13 says:Posted: 09 Nov 06
A very enlightening article and food for thought.
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 09 Nov 06
What about people ( men included ) who put the bait away after they've made the catch??
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okechukwu says:Posted: 04 Nov 06
He should have mentioned how some women use nets when fishing-giggling
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Carla says:Posted: 27 Oct 06
He should have mentioned how some women use nets when fishing-giggling
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Candy says:Posted: 24 Oct 06
Seems like a very good book... Will be reading up on it...
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italianm4uinpa says:Posted: 22 Oct 06
This makes sense....I know I have been "snagged" a few times :) Thnaks for a very interesting and informative interview.
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CarolinaQT says:Posted: 18 Oct 06
I agree with Marquez, there's no formula for it. You can attempt to make smarter decisions about certain aspects of finding a mate, but that's about it.
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marquez097 says:Posted: 17 Oct 06
It all boils down to the heart of the person and their true motives. We cant rely on a single viewpoint to find someone. Its more of a trial and error type of thing
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nicefella115 says:Posted: 17 Oct 06
great article, but i disagreee, i think its a 2 way street.
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unme23 says:Posted: 15 Oct 06
i met a girl, which made this story seem the oppsite, very interseting!!!
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babymeat says:Posted: 12 Oct 06
it seems like the more guys i meet, the more i can relate to this story
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Segue007 says:Posted: 11 Oct 06
This is really good information, even for us men.
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iceburger says:Posted: 10 Oct 06
I have read the article again..maybe this is the 11th time, and I should say that highly elusive men fall into the trap easily. Its that they become desperate and may get themselves into anyone. Fear is what I would call it.
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Deena says:Posted: 08 Oct 06
Great article...I got some great pointers form ya Doc!
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besweet says:Posted: 07 Oct 06
True that ebonybeautyj, thats why you switch bait !!! Going fishing !!! hahahhaha! its a funny spin on the dating game for sure.
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marquez097 says:Posted: 06 Oct 06
just remember that if you have to pretend to be something you are not then you are dealing with issues deeper than trying to be with someone
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ebonybeautyj says:Posted: 05 Oct 06
I may give this idea a try,however all men are not created equal~
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Donna says:Posted: 04 Oct 06
This is a great article, some truths, some misconceptions.
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besweet says:Posted: 04 Oct 06
This is why my grandma always said there are more fish in the sea just keep throwing your line out till ya get the right one. But be sure and throw the ones that arent right back real soon. Don't keep 'em in the boat. Ya never know what will happen if ya do. And that is certainly true !!!If you hang on to the wrong person tooo long a whole mess of things can happen.
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Galf says:Posted: 26 Sep 06
I think this is just the same "advice" you get for anyone who writes a books, just presented with a different metaphor. Still It is good advice if you never heard it before.
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Ann says:Posted: 26 Sep 06
Thanks for commenting on the one that got away not being the big fish.
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unme23 says:Posted: 26 Sep 06
i would love to see the flip side of this article!!
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lizzy2005 says:Posted: 25 Sep 06
Not really the sort of book I would buy. It seems to give the impression that men are superior to women. Hell no lol!
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vanessa says:Posted: 24 Sep 06
good peace of information . nut goes for both sexes
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lovelylala says:Posted: 23 Sep 06
here we g another dating advice book repeating the same old canned Pshyco-babble. When is someone going to write something fresh and useful to us? how many time and how many authers can reword the same crapola. Dating advice authers time for you all to get with it, and write something relevent to what is really going on in the dating world.
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Kara says:Posted: 23 Sep 06
Seemed like an interesting article, but the poor transcription made a good deal of it unintelligible, unfortunately.
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Coco says:Posted: 22 Sep 06
Men are like fish...slippery, slimey, scaley, and very hard to catch a good one! LOL!
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Fala says:Posted: 21 Sep 06
Men are from Mars women are from Venus. The only thing we have in common is sexual compatibility and with test tube babies - we might not even need each other for that.
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kenyanito says:Posted: 20 Sep 06
Different species indeed they are... All i hope and pray for is that there should be some appreciation.
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unme23 says:Posted: 19 Sep 06
wow, maybe i should approach women in a different matter!!!
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BABYMEAT says:Posted: 19 Sep 06
wow, some points realing hit home. great article.
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vanessa says:Posted: 19 Sep 06
i think this article gives a great dealm of information and how men relate and maybe we can deal with men better
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whyrb0y says:Posted: 19 Sep 06
i agree with multiple points you made mr nakamoto, but on the other side of the coin keep in mind as you say there are many fish in the sea not every fish is the same .as people are different in the way we think ,speak ,think ,act and look.and not everybody looks for the same qualities or looks in a potential life mate or date.
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mary says:Posted: 19 Sep 06
Good info, but the bad grammar was really hard to get past. It made it difficult for me to get the real meaning from much of what was said! What's the deal?
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HEARTNSOUL23 says:Posted: 19 Sep 06
AWESOME ARTICLE/INTERVIEW........Looks like I have been getting all the bottom dwellers of the lake....time to upgrade my gear and catch a keeper!
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darknlovely4 says:Posted: 19 Sep 06
now share this with all women , we need to be informed.......whewwwwwwwwwww......needed that
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Kalilah says:Posted: 18 Sep 06
Interesting article...lots of points hit home.
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Dora says:Posted: 18 Sep 06
I love the way you explain how women should relate to men. I can't wait to buy the book.
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Sweetheart says:Posted: 17 Sep 06
I love informative articles like this one. I am going to get my sister to read this so she can get a good man for once!
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rubyrose says:Posted: 17 Sep 06
There must be something in each of us that attracts the other person. This article makes me realize that the combination of elements allows us to catch a fish. Will it be the right fish???
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Metaphors FISH or MEN it is still the same, is it not??? Southern smiles and world peace, Sharon