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Can you measure True Love in Miles?

Posted by Leticia, 25 Nov

The great part about meeting and dating on-line is the opportunity to talk with people all over the world. The bad part about meeting and dating on-line is falling for someone on the other side of the world. We're hearing the phrase "open marriages" more often. Is this how you deal with a long distance relationships too?

When you can't be with the one you love...is it okay to "love the one you're with"?

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If you ask around, you'd probably be hard pressed to find someone that has not been involved in a long distance relationship. Whether it was in college or the military, business related or an on-line meeting, we've all been away from a loved-one at some point in time. How we handled that time away may have been the determining factor in the success of that relationship.

Do you think that it's easier to have a long distance relationship if it starts off that way? I mean, if you meet someone on line (this site of course), and you already know going into it that you are separated by a lot of miles and maybe even a different time zone, does that make the distance any less?

From personal experience (about 50% of my relationships have been long distance). I've found that the ones that started that way were built on a solid foundation. The distance allowed us to spend the time talking and listening (not so much touching and feeling). I equate it to the difference between reading the book or watching the movie.

The issue of trust is still the same no matter where two people are located. The truth is people are going to be who they are. If they are going to cheat, it doesn't matter if you're in the same room or the same country...they will find a way to make that happen. For some there is an understanding between them that allows the other to have physical relationships with others.

I've had a partner once tell me "it's okay to give up the booty...just don't give away your heart". Easy for him to say...knowing that I've always been one to enter a room and a relationship the same way, head and heart first, booty last!

However, I've always admired people that have been able to separate the two...Love and sex. It's not just men that enjoy a quick (or not so quick), romp around a room (bed optional), with another consenting adult that they may or may not have to buy or cook a meal for or ever see again.

I'm not sure why I admired them or if its admiration at all. Kind of like when a woman cuts off a man's penis or a guy goes postal on his boss. Even though you could never do it yourself, you can certainly understand the emotion and reason why others do.

Again, it comes down to personal preference. It's important in any and all relationships that both parties are totally upfront and honest about what their expectations and desires are. You may be surprised how many women are actually okay with the idea of an open relationship. My problem has never been that a guy chose to sleep with another woman outside of our "monogamous" relationship. It was that he didn't allow me to have the same choice.

The saying is "all is fair in love and war". In order to be fair, both sides must have equal access to the same information. They must be given the opportunity to make choices that are true to their intent and heart. Imagine, if we were all able to be who we really are with others that do the same...think it would have any impact on the longevity of our relationships?

This is Leticia...if you can't be with the one you love; love yourself!

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Responses to "Can you measure True Love in Miles?"

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  1.   yoby says:
    Posted: 11 Dec 06

    well whatever, if ppl are good, everything is good, otherwise.... no chance!

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  2.   kenyanito says:
    Posted: 11 Dec 06

    Distance doesn't realy matter its your heart because wherever you are, you can decide to be sincere or just dogg.

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  3.   turbogirl says:
    Posted: 11 Dec 06

    If someone is really caring and there is trust, no amout of distance will matter. Then, not to talk of romantic partners, they'll be hours and hours on the phone or net to each other.

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  4.   Majesticone says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 06

    in a perfect world, you fall in love with the person no matter how near or far and neither will stray... but then we go back to reality. we are not perfect people, we do not work or live in a perfect world, and its going to take an extrodinarly strong person to maintain the distance. i have that opportunity to embark on a long distance relationship but without being able to spend time with that person and able to see them more than on cam, i have to just remain friends and hope i am not making a mistake by not pursuing this person.

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  5.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 06

    We need some new articles. The comments are great on this one though :)

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  6.   Lovelydimples says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 06

    Hey Lizzy - ask father xmas to order you one. You never know!!!

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  7.   lizzy2005 says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 06

    Give me an honest cute guy within travelling ditance lol! Are they a dying breed or what?

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  8.   charlee1 says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 06

    long distance relationships can work but only if both parties are willing to give their all in ensuring that the relationship stays strong. but having said that, nothing beats having someone to cuddle up to at the end of the day!

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  9.   marquez097 says:
    Posted: 09 Dec 06

    distance can be worth it. its just extra hard.

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  10.   yoby says:
    Posted: 09 Dec 06

    maybe distance is good for bigger feelings too!!!

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  11.   xhotlover says:
    Posted: 07 Dec 06

    Long distance relationships is a good topic for this website. I don't think most people on this site are ready for a long distance relationship and the truth of the matter they are probably going to be disappointed. But the struggles of love make a long distance relationship worthwhile.

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  12.   frenchie83 says:
    Posted: 07 Dec 06

    If both people are willing to put in a concerted effort it can be really amazing to be in a long distance relationship. You feel excited by the smallest things and you appreciate one another more than you do when you see each other all the time. It's not easy, but you can enjoy it and work towards rectifying the situation by getting closer (distance-wise) in the future.

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  13.   DaTruth17 says:
    Posted: 06 Dec 06

    Long distance relationships are not easy and can be even more difficult with someone is treating the relationship as an open one. I don't think that is good. Life comes with trials and tribulations and one way to see if it is real (true) love is to remain faithful to that person whether they are 1500 miles away or 2 miles away.

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  14.   Carla says:
    Posted: 06 Dec 06

    to be in the presence of someone tells it all...

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  15.   lizzy2005 says:
    Posted: 06 Dec 06

    If I met a nice decent honest guy I wouldn't care where in the world he was.

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  16.   Lovelydimps says:
    Posted: 05 Dec 06

    Hmmm long distant relationships? Plenty of good arguments for and against. Personally - I feel that people who have the need to indulge in such are perhaps more in love with the fantasy of a relationship, more so than actually entering into a proper loving, supportive relationship. I feel long distance relationships are very unrealistic and can lead to idealisation of the other person etc. But as they say - each to their own and whatever floats your boat. And good luck if your own long distance relationship is working out fine.

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  17.   sheva7 says:
    Posted: 05 Dec 06

    The beauty is every where but the love you don’t know where you can find it.

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  18.   sheva7 says:
    Posted: 05 Dec 06

    The beauty is every where but the love you don’t know where you can find it.

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  19.   Coco says:
    Posted: 04 Dec 06

    I admire all of the folks out there who are trying to maintain a long distance relationship. I am sure if your heart is in it and the commentment is there, you'll make it work. The best of luck to you all! We never know where or when love is going to find us!

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  20.   Natural72 says:
    Posted: 04 Dec 06

    Or is it that distance makes the heart wonder? There are times where I just want someone to be there at least within driving distance.

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  21.   nehuskerfan says:
    Posted: 03 Dec 06

    Very interesting. But I have to agree with you... I enter relationships the same as I enter a room... the booty is always last!!!

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  22.   generic1977 says:
    Posted: 03 Dec 06

    i dont think love is gonna travel to see moi

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  23.   Fala says:
    Posted: 03 Dec 06

    I don't have a problem with it - as long as he comes home to me at the end of the day.

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  24.   galf says:
    Posted: 03 Dec 06

    I believe in long distant relationships. I have been in one myself. In the end it did not work out but it was not the distance that did it in. You just have to be upfront with your expectations and realize the level of commitment you are willing to put in. In a lot of ways a long distance relationship takes more to make it work than a local one.

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  25.   carla says:
    Posted: 02 Dec 06

    distance makes the heart grow fonder..

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  26.   lizzy2005 says:
    Posted: 02 Dec 06

    hard, but worth it when u find that special person.

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  27.   Pleasjure13 says:
    Posted: 01 Dec 06

    Personally I have never had a meaingful ld relationship.

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  28.   Kara says:
    Posted: 01 Dec 06

    Mostly I like the fact that the distance forces you to get to know each other slowly, and then you only continue communications if you're really hitting it off and love talking to each other day after day. In other words, it isn't just sex that keeps you coming back for more. You can develop a real friendship, which--if it's meant to be--will be what sustains the relationship for many years to come. I'm still close friends with one guy I was in a LD relationship with several years ago. Turned out we weren't meant to be as romantic partners, but we'll be friends forever, so no regrets there. Nearly 3 years ago I met another guy online who, over time, has become one of my best friends. He's just moved back to the U.S., so we'll see what happens from here. Either way, I know we'll always be friends so, again, no regrets.

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  29.   xina03 says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 06

    I really don't think long distance relationship can work..but you never know

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  30.   ebonybeautyj says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 06

    I agreet that trust is paramount and each person has to decide for themselves what will work for them.....

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  31.   gms77 says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 06

    Oh yes distance does make the heart grow fonder

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  32.   marquez097 says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 06

    Long distance relationships are hard to keep up simply because most people dont have the dedication to put into it. Its all up to the individual in the end.

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  33.   lizzy2005 says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 06

    There is always hope that we will find 'the right one'. Whether they are far away or close I think that if both partners care enough bout each other it will work. Remember Bombtongue and Maurice. She was in the UK and he was in the US. Now they are getting married.

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  34.   auroraxxx says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 06

    ahhh a subject close to my heart as my heart is not close to me i hold his heart and he holds mine cos it was just meant to be nothing else matters..... :D

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  35.   nicefella115 says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 06

    to be in one presence tells it all.

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  36.   TrueHarmony says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 06

    You know what, I loved this article. It expresses the very thing I feel and I am dealing with at this moment.

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  37.   Segue007 says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 06

    A long distance relationship is very hard to maintain without having a lot of money for travel. If you can not see your partner frequently enough you may stray...and trust is what a long distant relationship is build upon.

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  38.   sweetest1 says:
    Posted: 29 Nov 06

    I have never been in a serious long distance relationship... but its mostly because I could never get past the whole 'getting to know you' thing. I think I have just been spoiled in the past with guys who wanted to spend so much time together that I can't imagine not spending a lot of time with my mate.

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  39.   Majesticone says:
    Posted: 29 Nov 06

    Im not one built for long distant relationships... maybe if i was younger but now that im older and my needs have changed, nope.. not in my cards. but i do give props to those that can handle it because it takes a lot of patience and trust.

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  40.   Carla says:
    Posted: 29 Nov 06

    its always the cutest guy that over takes it all...the other comments are good too amd mislady is right..trust is hard in a long distance relationship when you cant seem to be together more often...but online dating has its advantages

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  41.   yoby says:
    Posted: 29 Nov 06

    well the distance is a matter, for real, you like a lot of persons and at the end u never meet one!!!

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  42.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 29 Nov 06

    i say, you wont know until you meet them to see if the chemistry is there.

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  43.   misslady1970 says:
    Posted: 28 Nov 06

    WELL I TRYED A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP 5 YEARS AGO. EVEN THOGH WE MET ONLINE, WE'LD TALK ON THE PHONE AND EMAIL, AND EVEN SENT LETTERS AND PICS OF OURSELVES, AND ECT...YES THERE WAS A TRUST ISSUE WE BOTH HAD, BECUZ OF PAST RELATIONSHIPS. ALSO EVERYTIME HE WAS SUPPOSE TO MEET ME, AT A PUBLIC PLACE, ALL OF A SUDDEN SOMETHEN CAME UP AND HE'LD NEVER MAKE THE TRIP.....YES, I DO BELIEVE MEETING A PERSON ONLINE,IS A VERY GOOD THING, A VERY NICE WAY OF TAKING THE TIME TO UNDERSTAND,AND GET TO KNOW EACHOTHER.....TO ME I JUST LIKE THE FACT OF GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE FOR WHO THEY ARE, AND THEN LET THINGS HAPPEN NATURALLY.......

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  44.   lizzy2005 says:
    Posted: 28 Nov 06

    I agree with the other comments. Most of the cutest guys seem to be overseas.

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  45.   aline says:
    Posted: 28 Nov 06

    i met a man on this site, and we hit it off so well, but he has removed his profile, but i stayed because of my friends, i have filled him in, everything that i do i let him know because i think communication in any relationship is key

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  46.   jonny says:
    Posted: 28 Nov 06

    it has and hasnt worked in the past for me. and hopefully the one im in now will work cause i really do love and cherish this special woman.

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  47.   Sweetheart says:
    Posted: 27 Nov 06

    Long Distance relationships have not worked out well for me in the past, not as fortune as some success stories. There is always the ones that say they want or found someone closer to them and want to see if that works, or they were always acusing me of cheating. Trust was always the thing that torn my apart

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  48.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 27 Nov 06

    I have been in long distance relationships, and they didn't end up well...at least not for me. There were many trust issues on both sides so we ended it. Now I don't like to look further than my own back yard. Someone local is best for me :) Great article though!

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  49.   romeoluvs says:
    Posted: 27 Nov 06

    Long distance relationship does work and the best part of this kind of relationship that you get to know the person first and then go in for a relationship, where as in normal dating a guy or a man is more than happy to get the girl/woman laid. Thats crap.

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  50.   TheDude says:
    Posted: 27 Nov 06

    I don't rate long distance relationships at all. This site has some of the most gorgeous women in the world and they are mostly oceans away! It's a real tease but hey I reckon one day there'll be this cute woman on here that lives down the road - you have to keep trying.

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