Is Your Relationship a Job or a Career?
Having a great relationship requires more than a 9-5!
We hear the statistics everywhere...50% of marriages end in divorce. What's going on with the other 50%? There are tons of resources available to get into a relationship, but very few to keeps us happy in them. What can we do avoid being another statistic? How can we treat our relationships like a "career choice" and not a "dead-end job"?
Find your soulmate on Swirlr
It astonishes me to think about all the methods, devices, programs, games and websites that have been created (including this one), to get people together...everything from blind dating to speed dating. What do we have to strengthen those relationships, to keep them strong and growing? Now, I hope that no one said Dr. Phil. By the time you get to the "experts" there's already a problem in the relationship.
As I see it, too many of us are treating our relationships like our jobs, instead of like a career "choice". Think about it; we look in the paper, do a search on-line or hear about a "prospect" from a friend. We fix up our resumes/ourselves, to look a certain way to get the attention of the "prospect" and we put it out there. Then we wait!
Now, some of us only go after one "prospect". Others put out multiple fielders to increase our chances of finding the "right one". Then, there's the first meeting. We put on our best clothes, face and behavior hoping to make a lasting impression. We're just trying to get our foot in the door.
Bingo, we're in! Now what? After the initial honeymoon stage, our appearance goes from putting our best foot forward to thinking out loud, "shoot, they better be happy I'm wearing shoes"!
We start living paycheck to paycheck, day to day, and just waiting for the next "big or best thing" to come along. Forgetting the reason why we took on the responsibility in the first place. You know people that go from job to job, relationship to relationship? Or people that stay at a job/with someone, that (they obviously don't enjoy), for so long, because it's easier than looking for something else?
How should it be? Well, in Leticia's utopia, we still find the "prospect" the same way, by referrals, research and dumb luck. However, we must do our homework our due diligence. We put all the effort at the front end (to get in the door) and at the back end (to get out). Wrong! We do very little in the middle. Much like we would do with our career (that we love), we must take refresher courses, invest in the latest technology to continue to stimulate our minds, bodies and spirits. Most importantly, we must continue to communicate.
At work, there are daily memos and progress reports to tell us about our challenging areas and things that need improvement. We get incentives and bonuses. Not just "annual reviews".
What do you think about yearly relationship evaluations and self evaluations? This could be a way of keeping track of our goals and aspirations individually and as a couple. Even though men and women are from the same planet, we do think and process things differently. We need to keep talk, talk, talk to each other and also, don't forget to shut up and really listen too!
Perhaps the problem with relationships today is that too many of us are treating them like jobs that we work instead of businesses that we own??!!
This is Leticia...gotta go to work...I love my job!
Related Stories
-
You Have to Assume the Best In Men, Rather Than the Worst in Men
-
Five Easy Ways to Keep the Romance
-
Evaluate Your Relationship, Not Your Partner
-
THIS Mindset Keeps You Single
-
The Search for a Better Way to Think
-
How to Maintain a Strong Relationship
-
Love Under the August 31 Supermoon: A Cosmic Date to Remember
Responses to "Is Your Relationship a Job or a Career?"
Be the first to leave a comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
-
-
Candy40dd says:Posted: 04 Nov 06WoW, relationships being compared to jobs!! Relationships might feel like your doing over 40 hours at times, but it makes sense.. We work extra hard at what we want in life, so why not put at much time in effort as if it was work?? This might help out alot of broken relationships.
Reply to this comment -
-
Kimmee says:Posted: 02 Nov 06Its true - we put so much effort and energy into school, work and even play. However, we expect relationships to automatically work out without any effort or time. Another insightful article.
Reply to this comment -
-
nicefella115 says:Posted: 01 Nov 06if you really think about it, it is work.
Reply to this comment -
unme23 says:Posted: 01 Nov 06know matter what you do in this world know a days is work!!!!
Reply to this comment -
Sweetheart says:Posted: 01 Nov 06a relationship really isnt work for me. It's more like an extra activity that I love to do because if its something I like doing I will put time in it.
Reply to this comment -
maishagal says:Posted: 31 Oct 06makes ya think bout what you bring to the relationship with others
Reply to this comment -
iceburger says:Posted: 31 Oct 06Unlike work, relationship is made even more hard due to the fact that it requires two people to make it work, not one as in work
Reply to this comment -
Superdiva says:Posted: 30 Oct 06great article relationships not hard peoplemake it hard.
Reply to this comment -
JADE74 says:Posted: 27 Oct 06Relationships are work.Work is required on both parties to make it work and that's daily.Very good article and comparation to our jobs and careers...
Reply to this comment -
urmydestiny says:Posted: 27 Oct 06
If your relationship becomes a job it's time to leave.
Reply to this comment -
yoby says:Posted: 26 Oct 06i guess after hard working all day nobody wants to work MORE on this! it should be more a little bit like spontaneous!
Reply to this comment -
Charmaine says:Posted: 26 Oct 06I never looked at a relationship as being a career. However, most of us want and enjoy instant gratification without the hassle of long term commitment.
Reply to this comment -
notshytc says:Posted: 26 Oct 06Its alaways about comprimise..give and take...and sitting back and listening. You cant put a time on "When You'll Know".
Reply to this comment -
Nikki says:Posted: 25 Oct 06
Let me say this ANOTHER WAY! I absolutely LOVE what I do for a living. It is "fun" "exciting" and "Stimulting". I've been known to do it for very little money, because of my love for it! However, just like my relationship...it's NOT like that EVERY moment of EVERY day. NO relationship is. That seems to be the problem with alot of us these days...we keep looking to be "constantly" entertained and stimulated! When we're NOT, we think something is wrong and instead of putting in the "WORK" to make it better...we're looking for a quick fix or another fix altogether. Tell me, when did "work" become a dirty word?
Reply to this comment -
Carla says:Posted: 24 Oct 06
it should come natural...not something that should have to be felt of as a career or a job or work...relationships should be fun...exciting and stimulating...
Reply to this comment -
-
-
Segue007 says:Posted: 22 Oct 06"On a second note, people really mess up relationships. There is no need to start a relationship from a very high level. This shall eventually go down, and its a sure way of killing it. Its better to start one from a low level, and push it upwards. Thats how to build a relationship. Posted by iceburger" I have to agree with Iceburger for the most part. Where I differ is as you get older and more knowledgeable in relationships there should be a foundation that you bring to each new relationship. Therefore, you shouldn't have to start out low in every relationship.
Reply to this comment -
Kara says:Posted: 22 Oct 06I prefer to think of the "work" done toward building the relationship as "care" or "nurturing" of the relationship. You put time and energy into caring for the relationship and making it grow because you value it and you want it to be the best it can be. It's not drudgery unless you view it as such!
Reply to this comment -
lizzy2005 says:Posted: 22 Oct 06Relation ships should always be 50/50. Each partner should respect and cherish the other.
Reply to this comment -
Segue007 says:Posted: 22 Oct 06
I read the article again and still enjoyed it as much as I did the first time.
Reply to this comment -
Fala says:Posted: 22 Oct 06
This was funny. Reminded me of a lot of my relationships. Probably why I'm here now. LOL
Reply to this comment -
Natural72 says:Posted: 22 Oct 06
Well I think a relationship takes effort. You have to jump throught certain hoops, market yourself, put your best foot forward, compromise, and communicate. Like alot of things you get out of it what you put into it. We are much more likely to put more effort into a career (relationship) than just a job (dating). So really it's up to you and the company (other person)--are you both looking to start a job or maintain a career?
Reply to this comment -
justknowingu says:Posted: 21 Oct 06
things should come naturally---you can feel the electricity and sense the anticipation!!
Reply to this comment -
Majesticone says:Posted: 21 Oct 06
I have never looked at relationships like they are a job or a career choice but finding someone that wants to be part of my life has been. i know in relationship you have do what you can to keep it going and that requires a daily action. lets face it, you can not take a holiday from your relationship or it might not be there when you return. you can take a break but never a permanent holiday because its never up to any one person in the relationship to keep it going, it always takes 2. lately i noticed that people view relationships in a very negative way because we have become and "instant" society. we want it now and we are not willing to invest the time to get the reward. i have been on here for 2 years and have not met anyone who is willing to work for it and for some its just "fun" like you play a board game and when your done your put it away. so i decided to stop looking all together its just not in the cards for me right now and im not going to continue beating the dead horse. but i thank yall for this site because i have chatted with interesting ppl and it has definately worked for some.
Reply to this comment -
-
-
kenyanito says:Posted: 21 Oct 06Relationships need 100% commitment from all parties concerned. Otherwise it will be deemed very partial.
Reply to this comment -
iceburger says:Posted: 21 Oct 06
On a second note, people really mess up relationships. There is no need to start a relationship from a very high level. This shall eventually go down, and its a sure way of killing it. Its better to start one from a low level, and push it upwards. Thats how to build a relationship.
Reply to this comment -
whytb0y says:Posted: 21 Oct 06the problem is they need some jesus in their life , people these days have no respect for others or them self so how can you have a healthy relationship .
Reply to this comment -
sweetest1 says:Posted: 21 Oct 06Love is work and noone can tell me different--there is play involved but there are good and bad times.
Reply to this comment -
nikki says:Posted: 21 Oct 06
Relationships require more than just LOVE...it requires time, energy, tolerance, effort, committment and so much more...if that's NOT work I don't know what is. AND...we get less tired from work that WE enjoy & love to do! It may be work but if done right...it doesn't seem that way.
Reply to this comment -
-
-
-
Euroecuboy says:Posted: 20 Oct 06love should NOT be work. if it is work it is going to end. we get tired from work, do we not?
Reply to this comment -
segue007 says:Posted: 20 Oct 06
This article made me do some thinking about how I view a relationship. I will try to approach my relationships as a career and not a job. Funny, most people will put more energy into their career than a relationship. I know I’m guilty of this.
Reply to this comment -
-
ebonybeautyj says:Posted: 19 Oct 06
I should be a career a long term thing....
Reply to this comment -
Coco says:Posted: 19 Oct 06
My regular job is hard enough....working hard on a dead end relationship? AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!
Reply to this comment -
-
babymeat says:Posted: 19 Oct 06
very interesting article, something to ponder on!!!
Reply to this comment -
RayneDelay says:Posted: 19 Oct 06
Nice article but I may give the whole thing up and become a horse jockey.
Reply to this comment -
-
EMBRACEME says:Posted: 18 Oct 06
THIS ARTICLE REALLY TOUCHED ME.. I WAS INVOLVED IN A REALTIONSHIP ONCE THAT I FELT IT WAS MORE LIKE BUSSINESS THEN PLEASURE.. ONE THING I CAN SAY IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND YOUR REALTIONSHIP AND YOU TREAT IT AS A HAVE TO CASE.. THEN IT WILL MAKE YOU BECOME BITTER TOWARDS YOUR MATE.. DO THINGS BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEM AND WANT THEM NOT BECAUSE YOU FEEL YOU HAVE TO.. ALL WILL LOSE IN THE END...
Reply to this comment -
aantonio says:Posted: 18 Oct 06
Yes some relationship require work. HOwever relationships should be 100/100 not 50/50. alot of people dont seem to realize that, n that one of the reasons why relationship/marriages fail. If you are a more career oriented person, you should meet someone who is the same way, cause you and that person can see things in a better light, than a career person being with somebody that is more for the relationship. HOwever, one of the keys to a successful relationship is to know how to balance love and finance. Also dont go by what the media says u should u , mainly follow your heart, mind and sould. be a leader not a follower.
Reply to this comment -
iceburger says:Posted: 18 Oct 06
Great article, but I think waiting till after one year to do evaluations can be too late. One day in a relationship is a very long period.
Reply to this comment
Advice
-
Five Easy Ways to Keep the Romance
Five Easy Ways to Keep the Romance Who says love needs to be solemn and proper? Maintaining the spark in your relationship may be a fun and thrilling journey! Here we will show you some fascinating and enjoyable techniques to keep the ...
-
Evaluate Your Relationship, Not Your Partner
Evaluate Your Relationship, Not Your Partner At the risk of embarrassing myself (and a friend of mine), I’m going to share with you a conversation I had in 2008 when I was debating whether or not I should get married. It contained some price...
-
The Search for a Better Way to Think
The Search for a Better Way to Think Just as our bodies have immune systems designed to fend off diseases that can incapacitate or kill us, our minds and cultures have similar processes in place to keep us safe from bad ideas and stop th...
-
How to Maintain a Strong Relationship
How to Maintain a Strong Relationship Love is a beautiful journey, but maintaining a strong and lasting relationship requires effort and commitment from both partners. In this article, we'll explore some key ingredients that contribute to...
-
How to plan your Interracial Wedding
How to plan your Interracial Wedding Love is a fantastic adventure, and when two people from different cultures decide to get married, their journey becomes even more exciting and colorful. Planning a multicultural wedding means bringing...
-
How to Plan a Surprise Birthday Party for Her
How to Plan a Surprise Birthday Party for Her Birthdays are a special occasion to celebrate the ones we love, and what better way to show your affection than by organizing a surprise birthday party for your special woman? It's a chance to create ...
-
Building Bridges Across Miles and Cultures
Building Bridges Across Miles and Cultures Long-distance relationships can be challenging, requiring extra effort and dedication to keep the flame of love burning bright. When combined with the complexities of an interracial relationship, the ...
-
Top 5 Best Dating Tips for Seniors
Top 5 Best Dating Tips for Seniors Dating in your golden years can be a delightful and rewarding experience. It's an opportunity to explore new connections and enjoy the companionship. Whether you're re-entering the dating scene after ...
-
Ludacris - Fast and Philanthropic
Ludacris - Fast and Philanthropic Rapping since he was just nine years old, Ludacris is a multi-platinum-selling artist with three Grammy Awards and an MTV Video Music Award under his belt. But, not content to rest on his laurels, he...
-
Is It Weird That I Have No Dating Experience?
Is It Weird That I Have No Dating Experience? How much control do we actually have over our love lives? Some people seem to only be single for five minutes before magically finding a committed and available partner, while some of us spend years...
Find your soulmate on Swirlr
Coaching Testimonial
"My online love inspiration angel"
Submitted by: Patricia, USA, 21
To be honest, in the beginning, I thought it would be a waste of time. But since I've never seen a similar service in any other dating site, I decided to give it a try.
I always "thought" my profile was on point and I did not need any help to correct my page. I always had in my profile if someone is not attracted to my profile, then that's "their" loss.
BOY WAS I WRONG!!
I will never forget my first time using the Coaching Service I was introduced to my personal Dating Coach. Let me put it this way, if it was not for her I would have given up long time ago (even though I'm a new member).
She taught me so many things and gave me good advice, I did not want to stop chatting with her at all.
She opened my eyes to many possibilities when finding love. She is definitely an inspiration and I appreciate a whole lot. She is more than a Dating Coach to me; she is more of a close friend/guide to me. She is definitely my "online love-inspiration angel".
Most Popular
- 1. Yes, Black Women DO Benefit from Interracial Dating and Marriage!
- 2. Raising Her Profile - to the Next Level
- 3. Video: How to Tell When a 'Rainbeau' is Interested
- 4. What to look for on a First Date
- 5. Cast a wide net or filter with care?
- 6. A Graceful Goodbye: End Of Date Etiquette
- 7. Contest: Valentine's "Extreme Profile Makeover"
- 8. Contest: What's Your New Years Relationship Resolution?
- 9. Glad I Found My Husband Before That Blonde Did!
- 10. Why are Some Black Women Hating on Michael Ealy's New, Non-Black Wife?
I agree...If I gotta work this hard it had better be more playing than working!