Dating in your Prime... Is love better the second or third time around?
If more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, than there's a lot of single folks that apparently aren't afraid of commitment. How easy is to get back up on the saddle after you've fallen off that horse or donkey? What are your chances of finding love after 30 or more?
Hey, this is Leticia. Now you probably can't tell by my writing, but I'm not a big fan of statistics. They say that "numbers don't lie". However, I do believe that it depends on who's reading them. I was reading a recent post in our blog and found some interesting information. We've all heard about the 50% of first marriages that end in divorce. So, do you think the numbers for the second time around would be better or worse?
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They could be better, because you'd think that folks learned SOMETHING during the first marriage and wouldn't make the same mistakes twice. Then again, the second time around, you may be less likely to stick around and work things out if you know that you can survive a divorce because you've "been there and done that"!
Well, according to DivorceMagazine.com (yes, there is a magazine), 59% of the U.S. population is married; 24% has never married; 10% is divorced and 7% is widowed. And 60% of re-marriages end in divorce. What does that mean for you? Well, if you're a glass half empty person, it means that after you've "been there and done that", the first time, you usually only wait on average another three years to do it again, and unfortunately, according to "the numbers" you'll have a little less than 8 years of "the second time around" marital bliss.
Personally, I'm a "glass is half-full" AND, "there is always time and room to add more to the glass" kind of person. So, I look at these numbers and see that 41% of the population is fare game. Of course you've got to take out for the same sex %, the locked up and ain't ever getting out %, the I'm just gonna live with my mommy forever % and you are still left with a big enough percentage of available men and women over 30. I mean, you only need to find ONE...for you.
Don't get discouraged by the numbers and the stats. Reality is that just like everything else; the numbers are manipulated and mutilated to prove the point of whoever is dishing the numbers. It really comes back down to what you want. What you're willing to do to get it and how hard you are willing to work to keep it. Maybe IT is your freedom, piece of mind or the love of your life.
The good news is that if you are over 30, you are more mature and less likely to play or waste time with someone that plays games. The bad news is that you have a harder time meeting people because unlike when you were in your twenties, you aren't as active as you once were. Or your circle of friends is paired up and you aren't meeting singles. What do you do? Well, you've already doing something by coming to this site.
Talk, write, chat and go out. Don't be afraid to re-think your preferences to include a bigger variety of potential suitors. Think of your age as experience on your resume...it just makes you better and worth a whole heck of a lot more. So, don't sell yourself short. If you come across a man that prefers younger women, don't sweat it...there are plenty of men looking for older women too! And guys, don't think that all "older" women are set in their ways and not looking to have fun, remember 40 is the new 30. Remember, you're never to old to learn something new. Don't forget you can read the original article on our blog...it's got lots of other fun stuff there too!
Responses to "Dating in your Prime... Is love better the second or third time around?"
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Pia65 says:Posted: 06 Aug 08I'm a 3/4 full glass gal...... I'm in the 7% area of widow....Its not easy when recently I've gone out for coffee on a couple of occasions...Only to be told they wouldn't date me seriously because I'm too OLD for them! Too old? They were a few years older than me!!! Both had the "Santa Claus" body!...So can anyone tell me why when I stay in shape like I do....why do we ladies have to put up with that kind of behavior? The urge to give them both a black eye crossed my mind, but I didn't I just walked away! Then I went out for lunch with a younger guy and haven't been out with him again.....All I've gotten from him were "raincheck" promises! I can only suppose that I'm still too old for him as well! My experiences in dating has thus far been a bust! I don't plan to give up....just keep trying...I'm sure there is someone special out there waiting for me...because my glass is still 3/4 full!
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 27 Apr 07Fala, I thought it was bad things that came in 3's. If its good things too, then great!! Much more better
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 15 Apr 07I'm with you Jade! Now that I'm older, I don't have to put of with the junk I did when I was in my 20's and 30's. If I know in my heart that it isn't right, I won't waste that time. Besides, I don't want a lot...just someone established, sexy (to me) and someone who can make me laugh til I cry! :) I have always had a weakness for a man with a great sense of humor :)
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fala says:Posted: 14 Apr 07
it could be Mossimo - don t they say good things come in 3? or is bad things?
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 11 Apr 07
don't they say the third time is the charm? Is that true?
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 08 Apr 07
I know its better for me because now there is MORE of me to love!
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 06 Apr 07
I can't say that its better, but I think most of us know what we want more clearly now than when we were younger. Hopefully with age comes wisdom for those of us still here on the dating scene
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Fala says:Posted: 29 Mar 07
Me too Jade. I think that kind of confidence only comes with age and experience.
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Jade74 says:Posted: 22 Mar 07
Amen Fala.Im older wiser and very selective.I know what I want and won't tolorate and put up with.Must be honest and have intergrity, and most of all know how to love and accept love.
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Tarah says:Posted: 20 Mar 07I'm a "half full glass" type of gal too however I've found in the US marriage does not carry allot of weight. I mean many don't value marriage and are quick to end it...**sigh** Oh, and funny that you mentioned filtering out the ex-cons, gay, etc...Might I add the broke busted and disgusted? LOL The pickings are slim…thank God for other races and other countries!-and thank Afro! -smile-
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To be honest, in the beginning, I thought it would be a waste of time. But since I've never seen a similar service in any other dating site, I decided to give it a try.
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Thank you, you have made some very good points. Being older and more mature does have its advantages. While I am less likely to spend gobs of time with someone who plays games, I have enough wisdom to know that in order for me to find the right one for me then I need to exercise some patience. Mr. "Right" is well worth the wait.