Menu

Are Black women and Asian men being sidelined?

Posted by Ria, 29 Oct

I'm always blogging about how White guys are getting the hot Asian women… but let's not forget Black guys dating White women.

One thing that made me sit and think for a moment is… "Are there fewer white men that are willing to date black women… and even fewer white women willing to date Asian men?" It’s like Black women and Asian men are being left on the sideline when it comes to the interracial dating game. So why is this?

Find your soulmate on Swirlr

Join Free

When it comes to online dating, Black women and Asian women seem to be disadvantaged. Men of all races usually claim to be open to dating men of all races but they seem to have reservations when it comes to Black women. Similarly, women who claim that they just want to find a nice, kind, respectful man, who say physical preference is not a deal-breaker seem to pump their brakes at Asian men.

Whether we like it or not, this is evident online and also with other match-making services. The profiles of Asian men and Black women rank lowest when it comes to the numbers of other singles showing interest in them. They seem to get fewer messages as well as fewer matches. Matchmaking services also say that these two groups are the hardest to find matches for.

There is the emasculation of Asian men by the media for years that seems to have translated to a self-fulfilling prophecy that ended up giving birth to an actual non-attraction to Asian men in real life.

As for black women, the media portrays them as sassy, strong women who emasculate men. Society makes them appear to be more masculine than women of other races making people assume that they are effeminate, hence physically less attractive.

Asian men and black women are having a harder time dating because of the societal constructed beauty standards and stereotypes. On the other hand, Asian women and Black men are doing so much better with Asian women being idealized as being more sexual and more feminine and Black men as more masculine and well endowed.

Then there is also a different spin to all this... maybe Black women and Asian men probably aren’t interested in dating outside of their own race...

The other thing about Asian men and Black women is that this particular interracial combo is also rare. Black woman-Asian man couples are sometimes even ridiculed as poor matches by whites, blacks, and Asians alike. Is this combo freakish as some people who have never seen such a couple put it?

I believe when people finally get over their rigidity and put a human face to black woman-Asian man relationships eventually they will respect this combo as much as most Americans accept and even laud some other types of interracial unions.

Well, I think this would be one viable option to consider in interracial dating… Seeing as Black women and Asian men are the least likely groups to be matched online, maybe they should consider dating each other more. That way we will see a rise in Asian Men Black Women couples and then maybe, we will stop gawking when we see them. What do you make of it?

Related Stories

More Opinion Articles

476 responses to "Are Black women and Asian men being sidelined?"

Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

  1.   Cynamyn82 says:
    Posted: 16 Sep 10

    Asian men are very attractive. I can't resist staring into his almond-shaped yes. Whether he is Pinoy, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Cambodian, or etc., I have plenty of love for Asian men, also. I thank God, that I am not the type to fall for silly stereotypes when it comes to anybody. If so, I will be missing out on a lot.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  2.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 10

    I think they go great together and I am white!! One of the most beautiful women I ever saw was an Asian mixture with black. And she was dating a fine black man who was handsome and doing quite well financially and was a great catch!! He wanted to marry her but she wasn't sure she wanted to settle down yet being as she was so pretty and had last dated a white doctor who cheater on her. I spent the evening out with them dining and after talking to him mostly since I had already talked to her a lot online, I told her that she had better marry this guy before someone snatches him up because he was a fantastic catch!! I hope she took my advice.:-)

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  3.   avellana says:
    Posted: 15 Aug 10

    @ Back-at-cha You sound irritated by the issue of AM/BF relationships, why is this? You may not find black women attractive and that is absolutely fine, no one is saying you or other Asian men should go out with Black women and the reverse is true. I think the fact that you've decided to interpret this debate in this way points to some issue within yourself. As does the fact that you felt the need to criticise bbincali (March 11 2010) for doing some research into what Asian men think about AM/BF relationships. Again, your issues led you to warp the focus of this research into what Asian men think of Black women :rolleyes: Secondly, just because you have a certain opinion of black women doesn't mean that all Asian men have the same one. Have you actually read some of the glowing compliments that Asian men have made about Black women on this page? And vice versa? Or of the people that are/have been in loving BF/AM relationships? Far from this being a stupid subject not worth writing about, I see it as an interesting exploration into a social phenomenon. While it's true that some Asian men don't tend to find Black women attractive (with the reverse being true) or "feminine" as you put it, to say this completely answers the question of why BF/AM couples aren't seen all that often if at all is extremely narrow-minded, lacking in depth and quite frankly, smacks of more than a touch of racism (And this is true of IndoPak boy's views too). And if the stereotype of "femininity" is the one I think you mean, then your views could be seen as being pretty sexist too. I happen to be drawn to men of all ethnic groups and think that qualities such as kindness, open-mindedness, sincerity and warmth are far more important than skin colour, height, muscle mass, machismo, etc. It feels so much freer to be this way. I wish you luck...

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 15 Nov 10

      I think they go great together and I am white!! One of the most beautiful women I ever saw was an Asian mixture with black. And she was dating a fine black man who was handsome and doing quite well financially and was a great catch!! He wanted to marry her but she wasn’t sure she wanted to settle down yet being as she was so pretty and had last dated a white doctor who cheater on her. I spent the evening out with them dining and after talking to him mostly since I had already talked to her a lot online, I told her that she had better marry this guy before someone snatches him up because he was a fantastic catch!! I hope she took my advice.:-)

      Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
      Reply to this comment
  4.   rhi says:
    Posted: 10 Aug 10

    I'd do Bruce Lee

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  5.   Rai-Bread says:
    Posted: 01 Aug 10

    I've been with my girlfriend for quite some time now and it's going great so far. I am Chinese and she's a mixture of Black/Mexican/Irish/Cherokee. When we go places, people always stare at us and it used to bother me so much in the beginning. After a while, I begin to accept the fact that, we're just different and out of the norm I'd say since EVERYBODY in the area dates their own or what's used to being seen: African-American men with European-White/Asian/Latin women; Caucasian men with European-White/Asian/Latin/African-American women; etc., but you wouldn't really see an Asian man, especially myself, being a Chinese man with an African-American woman. She is mixed but clearly when viewed from near or far, you can tell we're quite the different couple. Despite who thinks what or who says what, I've always been devoted to my baby and I've always been in this warmth I get whenever I'm around her. She's a wonderful person, shy at times, kind, loving, sweet, bubbly and soo much of my other half I lack in too long. I love her...always have, always will. We plan on having kids one day, and furthermore to adopt a child or two. I will marry her one day, that's if she doesn't catch up to me first! :) haha..I love it. Once I dated my baby..I've never looked back and that's just how it's going to be..together forever always.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  6.   sue says:
    Posted: 17 Jul 10

    well i have seen all the comment posted here and i agree with a few of them.i am a black girl well mixe hispanic/african. and i am crazy with asian guys and asian dramas and movies and their are a few korean actors who are so freaking hot. take kim nam gill he played in queen seon deok and now his newest drama bad guy.their are allot of atractive asian man out there that are so hot that you can,t stop looking ad them ho an other quetion why is it that some of the most hotest korean man allways look like a girl i whas watching a few dramas and lol this guys look so like an asian girl that i think the co star that play with them should feel a little bit intimidaded.it to bad that people would think an asian guy and i black woman can be together i think they would look good together. if i can find an korean man i won,t let him leave ever.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  7.   derek says:
    Posted: 14 Jul 10

    its simple asian men are shy,black women are too strong and proud.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  8.   ChinaDoll18 says:
    Posted: 10 Jul 10

    Wow! I actually think this website is re-awsome. I feel that the matter of the fact is rather we like it, or not we are defined by race. Rather we define or not soicety has put it out there. Even though it's there we can't allow that to be. All we can do is what is right, and follow are hearts. If that may be being in love with in asian,white, and or black men/women so be it. Who's the judge God as long as he apporves thats all what matter's.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  9.   Jelava says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    @BBINKALI Just because you think black women are not as feminine doesn't make it a bad thing. Just as long as your attracted to them or think they're sexy,beautiful,smart,loyal,honest,and respectful there shouldn't be a problem right?

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  10.   Back-at-cha says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 10

    @BBINKALI (March 11 2010), Stop going around asking men what they think about Black women. You just make yourself and your group look sooooo desperate and unwanted. Now you are going around "begging" men of other races to take a look. Pathetic.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  11.   Back-at-cha says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 10

    Um, it's articles like these that mess with Black women's heads. Please stop feeding into this. Why would Black women have to date Asian men? Nobody is being sidelined. It's silly. But Asian men like their women very feminine. That's for "sure" and most Black women are just not that feminine. They are feminine but just not that much- not as much as white and "certainly" nowhere near Asian women's femininity. You know, I just can't see these two groups together at all. Also most Asian men are very much into their communities. They usually stick with their own kind. They are not going to kick it with Black women. I mean, seriously. Also Black women are so devoted to Black men while Black men date other races. This whole article is silly and not worth writing.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
    • Randerson101 says:
      Posted: 28 Dec 13

      Back-at-cha, no offense but I am very feminine and come from a family of very feminine women. I also have friends who are beautiful and extremely feminine that are black. Now don't get me wrong, I do know a lot of black women who are strong in personality but I've seen just as many on the opposite side of the spectrum. Trust me, if an asian man went to the right places there are a ton of black women out there that would be soft and feminine. We have just got to stop grouping everyone in the same category. Also many of us are not soo devoted to black men as you may think.

      Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
      Reply to this comment
  12.   Blackasianlover says:
    Posted: 25 May 10

    Well I don't care what no one says I love Asian guys I think there sweet kind and loving and if people want to stare and say bad things well they can kiss ma black a** lol there not hurting me ther hurting themselfs any way am 17 and hoping oneday to go to japan and marry a hot Japanese guy domo arigato gozimasu

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  13.   miZblakgirl says:
    Posted: 22 May 10

    Hey I would just like to point out 1 thing on this topic. Black men don't go for black women because we have boundries and self respect not being racist or anything but they go for white women because their easier to get and are more avalible then black women are thats why black men go for white women. To be honest i'm sick of black men because most the ones ive dated have been cheaters and I'm generalizing but thats just me...

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
    • Reese says:
      Posted: 22 Dec 11

      Not talking about black men and white in this article. Does it really matter why they go after white women. We are talking about exploring other options with other races(Asians in paticular). Some black women are so hung up on everything black men are doing. LIve your life. This concern is one sided they don't care who we are dating.

      Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
      Reply to this comment
  14.   BodaciousBe says:
    Posted: 20 May 10

    @mohangany.I happened to enjoy that movie as well. However, the male Asian lead, Rain , was a very attractive Korean man and Naomi Harris, a very good looking BF was the lead. However, the same bias and mistake that was made in Romeo Must Die, with Jet-Li and Aaliyah, was once again duplicated. I felt that there should have been some sort of physical contact , sex scene, that should have occurred in this movie. I'm not saying that it would have made the movie go over better at the box office, however it would have brought to light, the issue of AM/BW attraction. In RMD, it was rumored that a kissing scene was filmed but not used due to disapproving BMs on the set. So the kissing scene at the end didn't fly and we (the audience) was left with just a hug. As for Ninja assassin, Clearly there was sexual tension and attraction was evident here, but once again they fell flat.I was disappointed that no real affection was displayed. it's quite obvious Hollywood, nor society is ready to embrace the pairing of AM/BF. it's a sad.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  15.   mahogany says:
    Posted: 16 May 10

    I recently saw the movie Ninja Assassin with Korean pop star Rain...who by the way is extremely attractive. I was elated to see the leading female role (and potential interest) was played by a woman of African descent.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  16.   Member says:
    Posted: 07 May 10

    I am Asian-American and my wife is African-American. It has not been easy just loving each other in the face of so many others, which i think is sad. Thankfully, we now love in a multicultural neighborhood, full of white, black, hispanic, eastern Asian, southern Asian, and Middle-Eastern. My children's "cliques" look like something out of a commercial. Every color, with no prejudice. It is amazing, considering that I was born here, but got picked on my entire life by whites, for the simple fact of "not being white". I agree.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  17.   Member says:
    Posted: 07 May 10

    If you're worried about what your "people" will say, you are a coward and we don't want you. Don't date outside your race. Enjoy cowardice and don't experience life as it should be, but rather as it is. However, if you wish to contribute to the future of the American Race, then to hell with the other cowards and join us multiracials in the conquering of the future! We are taking over one day at a time, whether you like it or not. Eventually your fearful past will expire, never to be missed. -Triracial parent of quadracial beauties

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  18.   jenna says:
    Posted: 28 Apr 10

    I have to say that I always had a thing for Asian guys,but due to their cultural preference for lighter skinned females, nothing ever materialized in terms of dating and or relationship. In the Asian culture as far as I see it,worship of lighter skinned people are prominent. However I still like my Jet Li, Kim Dong Wang,Jimmy Lin and the lot! To each his own!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  19.   holllywood94 says:
    Posted: 26 Apr 10

    to my black sisters and brothers i can say that we have beautiful black women in our culture but the only probelm we have somtimes is lack of commuation when i approach a black woman by speaking or simply just saying hi some have thrown their noses up at me but the main probelm that most of my black sisters have is a nasty mouth and that goes for some of the brothers as well.but the reason for a black man to find that certin black woman its always expitations between us or in other cases we the men are accussed of the crimes that the last man commited and that bothers a lot of brothers.the sisters should keep the d word out of their mouths and the brothers should keep the b word out of their mouths.you would think that would solve part of the probelm wrong again from now until the end of time for some silly reason we keep looking down on each other especially the black stars in acting and music really avoid the black community now with a black president hates comes from everywhere.anyway this is america and what type of men that sister wants in her life and the woman that brother wants in his life just be happy because color has nothing to do with it this is 2010 not 1910 goodbye readers

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  20.   pearlofgreatprice says:
    Posted: 06 Apr 10

    @ kiki. Not to discount your feelings. Not to make this seem like a lecture to you. But, your father has more experience when it comes to life, people, and its consequences from making a single decision, than you or your friends do, at this time. You're under his care and he wants the best for you, whether you agree with him or not. He's more aware of the mind-set and problems with in the cultural differences, as well as, the aftermath effects of an emotional and physical relationship that you have not encountered at this time. So, why not take a moment to sit down, again with your father. Open your mind, listen quietly, and ask him to explain to you the reason for his view points. Also, ask him to give you some examples of experiences. Whether his or someone elses. It's not to say that you'll experience the same; it's to help you to have better judgement when a situation is going in an unfavorable direction. You won't be lost at what to do. Also, parents are aware that they can't keep their children from all of life's experiences, yet they will do everything in their power to prepare them to make sound decisions. Regarding, just go with your heart. A person is never led by their heart alone. The mind is always an active participant in giving directions. People just ignore what they don't want to see or accept. Besides that, it's foolish and dangerous (even more so for a female) to ignore any sound reasoning. Especially, your own, once you know how valuable you are as a young woman and human being. Why not major on that aspect first, then, get a minor when it comes to dating. I hope this is helpful to you.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  21.   kiki says:
    Posted: 04 Apr 10

    I am a 15 year old african american girl and i live in southern cali. i have been attracted to asian(mostly filipino) boys since third grade. Some of them seemed to have liked me back, and others didnt really notice me. my friends are very supportive of my preferences, but my father is not. i just wish that people could set aside stereotypes and differences and just go with their heart. i've been wanting to approach a filipino, but i dont know how. SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  22.   t-ara says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 10

    I'm an a girl of Caribbean descent. I suddenly developed a huge crush on this Korean guy my senior year in high school and since then have been very attracted to Asian guys. BW/AM couples are a rarity, but I have seen a few in person. People say Asian males aren't into black women, but in my experience that's totally not true. I was "talking" to a Filipino guy for a couple of weeks, but had to let him go because he was more into me than I was him. I've been hit on my Korean dudes, Vietnamese dudes, Chinese dudes, Hapa dudes and a few East Indian ones. Black girls, if you are into Asian guys, don't let the "statistics" or the nay-sayers discourage you. Experience things for yourself. Other people's experiences (or non-experiences) with the AM/BW pairing will not necessarily be your own!!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
    • PrncsRapture says:
      Posted: 02 Jan 11

      Filipino's, although considered, are not Asian to me. Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, and Japanese seem more Asian. I've worked with Filipino's for years and they are so different. Facial features are more like an African's features mixed with Eskimo. (Just my silly thoughts) Wow an Asian male with a Black female; That's like two rams butting heads. Two strong minded individuals together. Great business partners, but terrible lovers, unless the female turns submissive. Personally I've always found Asian men attractive, especially tall ones, yeah I've seen them.

      Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
      Reply to this comment
      • reese says:
        Posted: 27 Dec 11

        There are black women who are submissive and everything in between. Asian men who are compromising.

        Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
        Reply to this comment
  23.   maxhb says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 10

    I get one your issues with this young man is age difference. Let me say this, my first marriage wasn't interracial, but she was 48 and I was 30. That was 2 generations difference. her born 1933 and me 1951. She was beautiful and still is and I curse the day we split. We had that incredible connection. Laughed, worked and loved passionately. Today whenever we talk I am transported if by magic to how I felt then 28 years ago. IF YOU HAVE A CONNECTION like this, where you finish each other's sentences, cant keep from touching...are inexorably drawn, go for it. I would recommend you do a course such as Landmark Forum and get a good sense of possibilities and great tools for communication and dealing with upsets. They will be issues in all communications and with age difference it cuts through the illusions an machinations that separates who we are as Human beings engaged in living. I envy you being so close to this . Get over the age thing. Get in touch with and don't deny your gut level feelings. Appreciate this moment in your life. I am a Lucy Lu fan and can't see any problem with any race, just individuals at times.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  24.   darkjoy66 says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    So I hope that this post. I am a AA woman who has always liked Asian men and until recently I just thought that it was something I would have to keep to myself. I have dated men from all over the world except for Asia. I feel this is partly due to my own bias and fear of rejection. Recently I have met a much younger man, he is Filipino. I have two issues, one he is 16 years younger than me and two I don't know what he really wants. I finally told him today how old I was and he was shocked. But cool. I am thinking of just forming a friendship with him. He is an IT guy and I am a Artist. He is only here in AZ for a few months so maybe I will take him to some shows. Oh side note: Check out "Carolina Chocolate Drops" they will blow your mind. Peace.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  25.   pearlofgreatprice says:
    Posted: 24 Mar 10

    @Asa, cont. What does that leave black women? It depends on whose eyes you're looking at the situation through!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  26.   pearlofgreatprice says:
    Posted: 23 Mar 10

    @ Asa. I agree with this point. I, too, don't like American mainstream culture, and I'm well over being a 5th generation American. Out of its boredom, this mainstream culture continually works at pitching/walling people to/from each other, respectively, as if we don't have the inherent ability to choose on our own. Why should bw and am get together under the guise of being low on the totem pole romantically? It's absurd. Also, I am not colored blind, what for? We can become attracted to a person 'regardless' of their skin color. Yet, falling in love with someone of another race makes the skin color factor, inclusive. In addition to the above, why not..... -Look at the number of black men 'not' in jail. -Look at the number of black men 'not' married to white women. Have you conducted a study on this? If wo, just don't focus on athletes...let's look at politicians and the like, shall we! Also, what do you deem as successful? Financially, only? Being successful financialy is not the 'only' type of success or wealth a person can have to share with others. That criteria is definitely small-minded! Malcolm X started out with a focus for change for aa's, then after going to Mecca, his view changed and became more broaden. I would just like to know, how you could form your mouth to mention Malcolm X, by throwing the woes of some peoples mishaps, up in a peoples face which you know nothing about? American mainstream culture media has done a number on you, as well, in your small community! Do you know about the 'struggle' or what it is to stand for what's right, outside of your four walls? I don't think so! Because you choose to remain isolated and choose to stay in your small community and have a small-mind, being a just as much a product of the American mainstream culture, as planned for you, too. If you're not a part of the solution, you're part of the problem. There's no gray areas. By the way, I'm quite sure there are some 'secretive' dogs in your community, too! woof, woof, grrrrrr! LOL! @ deeann. I agree with you about this site blogger. I have submitted thought provoking information that was not posted and was in line with the topic!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  27.   lovelybubbly says:
    Posted: 22 Mar 10

    Someone might have mentioned it but I will reinterate asian men have a stereotype of being too dominate not emotional and that's a turnoff to some women even asian women are offended by that. I was in a relationship with a filipino man who I had a child with who I ended the relationship with because I realize I would not be happy with him I was told by asian women all married to white men that they don't like the dominance of asian men they wanted to be treated as equals, my sons father insisted on me giving him my entire paycheck and he would give me what he thought I needed out of it! He also said he liked "extremely submissive" women. My case might be isolated from others but he fit into the stereotypes people have of asian males.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  28.   deeann says:
    Posted: 20 Mar 10

    @ Asa, Good comments and there are those who do care about bw. The site blogger tries her best to place bw in a negative light.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  29.   Asa says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 10

    I am a straight Asian guy, let me give you some insight into why you don't see Asian men dating out that much. I know Asian women who love to be "libera", "open minded", and "color blind", but there are no such thing, because they discriminates against their own and other minorities. I don't believe in "love is colorblind". I don't have strick parents, I just don't like mainstream American culture that pressured minorities to date out inorder to be accepted, while white people can be racist and selective if they want to. Asian men should date black women because they feel they are left out of American love market, and vice versa. Asian men and black women are a KKK white supremacist dream, because it affirms their racial superiority. Since these two group are undesirable in mainstream American eyes, they somehow should get together or go extinct. Frankly, I don't give a s*** about Americna culture. I rather live in my own small community than be a dog in another. Call me small minded, but that is what Malcolm X advocated, and if black people listened they would be better off than they are now. Look at how many black males are in jail and when they do get successful they married white women and go broke spending it all in the white community. What does that leave black women?

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  30.   bbincali says:
    Posted: 12 Mar 10

    I am a black female. I walked through a college campus and a shopping mall and asked asian males their opinon on Asian men and Black female couples. These are of some of the comments I received: I think it’s all about change. Yes, I do think that Asian men and Black females are rare today, but there was a time when many different races coupled together were rare to see. Some Asian men are afraid of change, not willing to change, or want to test the waters, but don’t have a clue of how to do it. As time goes on, change does happen. In today’s world people are looking more and more at the heart and not at the skin when it comes to finding love. I believe it’s just a matter of time before Asian men and Black women will not be such a rare occurance. -Jin, 38 I have to admit that I’m a young, goodlooking Asian guy and not ready to settle down, so I date. I date all races of women and one day if I happen to fall in love with a black women then it is what it is. -Ricky, 21 When I was a young man, I was reprimand for falling in love with a Chinese girl. My mother was outraged. Rather than lose face with my family, I broke it off and later married a Japanese girl of my parent’s choosing. Tradition was number one in my family back then. That was then and this is now. I have a grand-son that I I didn’t see until he was two-years old, because I was outraged at the fact that my son married a black woman. One day a delivery person came to my house and placed a large box on my floor. I noticed the box moved a little and the top was not sealed. When I opened the top a little boy stood up and said “Gran pop.” I love my grand-son, and my daughter-in-law. As they say, love has no boundries. -K., 67 I have always dated Caucasian women. I have never had the opportunity to date a Black woman. -Larry, 32 Ok, I’m a gay Asian man, so I don’t date women at all, but I do have Black women friends who always say that Asian men are so shy and they are scared to step to a Black female. Now on the other hand my straight Asian men friends say they think that most Black women are very aggressive. Well I tell the gals that if they see an Asian Poppy who won’t make the first move then they need to start stepping to them. And for the AP’s, I say, Are you afraid of a strong woman? You need to show her that you can thrown it down just like a brother or a white boy. And that’s my truth! Heeey! -Chino, 31

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  31.   jamesinarizona says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    hello, im an asian male and pretty good looking. ive dated primarily outside of my race and am currently dating a black woman. shes actually the third black woman ive dated. for the most part, i do get a bunch of stares when i walk around with whoever it is im dating. ive dated primarily white, but this just happened because of circumstances and it isnt something i sought out exclusively. the girl im currently seeing is 12 years my junior and very attractive. we get a lot of stares (not because of the age difference, i actually look just as young as her) but because of the fact that we're a mixed couple. black men will snicker about how "they are losing one of their own" or "how my small asian dick can satisfy her". asians will wonder "doesnt she smell like bad?" or "arent you worried that your kids will turn out black?" me personally, i dont give a crap what race i eventually end up marrying. everyone is always walking around with some sense of racial and cultural pride, i could care less. bottom line is, no one is right and no one has the right answers to life...except for YOU! as long as youre not out there being a dick, live your life the way YOU need to. end of story.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
    • lee413 says:
      Posted: 03 Sep 10

      hey, James - i like what you're saying here. you should totally call me. wait, you're seeing someone arleady... *snaps fingers in dissapointment* : ) i'm seeing a Japanese man now who is a very sweet gentleman and sexy as f*. I was attracted to the person rather than the race. we are having a great time, nothing serious, but surely wouldn't turn my nose up to it. i would love more options like this to learn more about the culture in perspectives and maybe even to settle down. really. as you can see, i'm into it.

      Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
      Reply to this comment
    • Arika7 says:
      Posted: 23 Oct 10

      Id just like to say that my first love was an Asian man,I am a multiracial female, and up until I became grown well into my tweenties I loved him and always thought that if there are truly such things has having a soulmate then he was indeed mine.And the stereo types about AM having small penis's is so wrong, he still is one of the hugest Ive ever been with, and was an awesome lover!! Romantic,and so unselfish. Very strong yet kind and loving,loyal and loyal! If there are anymore men out there with this discription contact me I dont care if your blue! " SINGLE " -Arika 7

      Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
      Reply to this comment
  32.   Eva says:
    Posted: 23 Feb 10

    I must say that i overlooked AM at one time b/c of the stereotype of their being short in the bedroom. I am dating a handsom filipino man and he's a complete gentleman and hard worker. We are planning our future together. He loves me for me and i him, we want to start a family, but our finances are the priority before anything else. I'm currently a full time student and so is he. He's strong and caring and yes i have gotten the stares from my own. It is hurtful to see and hear what people say. At this point we dont' care anymmore. My BF don't listen to everyone or the stereotype AM are sexy and attractive you just have to find the right person for you. Mahal Kita (Love You) in filipino. I hear this from my man all the time and i tell him it every morning. We are very happy with each other.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  33.   josophine says:
    Posted: 23 Feb 10

    i think asian men are selfish they dont want to date black women ,idont know why.may be i should get response from asian men.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  34.   Wayner says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    Lots of beautiful people on this site. I'm AM, 39, and I had a black girlfriend 3 years ago. On top of that, she was 2 years older than me. That was a surprise to my family, but hey, it's my life. To this day, I've yet to see any AM/BF in NY. We use to get a stare from time to time, but mainly from BM in Brooklyn. I didn't notice BF so much until after we started dating. She was very flirtatious with me at my best friend's wedding, and that's what got my attention. I could not stop noticing BF ever since. I just love their curves, and that many have that cushion. I'm not says a lot of cushion, cause that's not attractive, but just more than AF. I guess I like to see that curvy figure. It's very sexy. I'm not into skin and bones. BF have the look that's exotic to me, and I guess that's why I'm attracted by them. I'm still single in Queens, NY...Still working. Hey, it's a rough economy. What can I say.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  35.   muslimman says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    I'm of south asian descent. However, being muslim and grown up in new york, i've dated without much thought given to race. I find black women to be extremely attractive and the day I can get to know well a black woman who is interested in family and marriage, i'll be a happy man. I wish there was some sort of dating site like that though.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  36.   Chinegro says:
    Posted: 17 Feb 10

    My mother is black and my father is Chinese. I do have a hard time with my racial identity. Honestly, I put down black for scholarships, because smart Asians are a dime a dozen and I only flinch sometimes. Do any other people of mixed race who don't necessarily look like a lot like either side have this issue? Moving on, personally, I don't find it a problem that I can't firmly say "I am a black woman" or "I am a Chinese woman" nor do I even feel like I'm mixed. I don't see race when I look in the mirror and don't feel that I make decisions based on my racial culture and can look beyond color in other people. So, I think it's a good thing, being mixed how I am, because I've never been racist against anyone, knowing from a personal standpoint, that race doesn't have to influence your thoughts and actions and if they do, then so be it. I've never been able to assimilate amongst Asians or African Americans, but I don't care, because that way people come talk to me because they like me, not because they see a fellow race-buddy.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  37.   Tina says:
    Posted: 15 Feb 10

    the truth of the matter is that asian men prefer not to date black women! in their culture, they have a caste system, and guess who is the lowest of the low (you guessed right- black skinned people)!- if you look at most matrimonial ads in india today, there is a strong preference for light skinned ladies. I simply think asian men are too insular and worry too much about what their families think if they date black women

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  38.   REALLADY says:
    Posted: 08 Feb 10

    To comment on JustHoping: Don't worry about how and why you feel the way you do and don't try and fight it. I have always been attracted to Asian men myself. I'm talk bad about it by some of my friends and at one time I begin to feel bad about my attraction for them and couldn't understand why me and why can't I be just attracted to black men as I am Asian men. I first of all would never reject any man because of his race and I am not holding out just for an Asian man either. But one thing I have learned is that I will not let anyone's judgement of my perference get me down. I am who I am and I'm proud of who I am. I'm a black woman but more importantly I'm a human being. Have a happy birthday lady.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  39.   JustHoping says:
    Posted: 05 Feb 10

    I'm about to have my sixteenth birthday in the next two weeks. So yes I am fairly young and yes most people believe that teenagers do not understand love and cannot feel it, but I think different. Honestly I love asain guys, and it does actually bother me that I don't see that many Asains with Black women. I agree with Kimpab when he said you shouldn't go looking for people because of ethnicity but honestly you want to be attracted to the person yet, still have so much love for them. Well honestly I can say I am attracted to Asain men. Do not get me wrong I love other races too, it's just that well to be frank, its just that I'm just REALLY attracted to asians I don't know what else to say about that I JUST am <333

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  40.   Member says:
    Posted: 03 Feb 10

    I would NEVER EVER date a asian man. I dont find them attractive and will not force myself to be with one just for a good looking child.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  41.   DrNini says:
    Posted: 22 Jan 10

    I am a black female and personally, I have never dated an Asian man because the option never presented itself. The only men that have ever really approached me are black and hispanic men. I have been friends with men of different races, but none of my white or asian male friends have ever tried to take it to that level. I love men of all races, shapes, and sizes. As long as our personality matches then we're good. But, it seems like there is a serious double standard. Black males and asian women will date any race under the sun, but if their counterparts do the same then in comes the stares and rolling eyes; at least where I'm from. Also, although most of the men that I have dated have been black men I must say that Sung Kang, from Toyko Drift could have a shot. I love manly men!!! Date who you want, love who you want, just don't base it off of race because at the end of the day people are people. Stereotypes aren't always true. Ask Tiger.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  42.   Meme says:
    Posted: 19 Jan 10

    I think it would be good for African American women to date Asian men. If you ladies see an Asian Man talk to him, become his friend and then make your move into a relationship and see where it goes. As for me, I am a mixed puerto rican/black american man I dated an Asian woman and it was a wonderful experience! Although we were more geared to be friends than romantic lovers we are still good friends to this day and she is currently married to an African American man. For a few years I had given up on dating Black Women, the reason why is I was just tired of it "not working out", and as I dated women of other races (chinese, irish and indian) I learned it was the kind of women I was dating which was the problem not the race of the woman. I noticed I dated the same kind of woman over and over with the same qualities and when I chose to date someone totally different than what I was used to it worked out! Today I am happily with a Jamaican woman, she's 31 sexy and very intelligent. Even if this relationship doesn't work out for some reason or another I will NEVER totally refuse to date a woman based on her race. Which leads me to another comment, I think the thing that hurts the most about people who only date one race or the other is there are some things that we can change as human beings in this life. Such as intelligence, earning potential, becoming a better person emotionally, etc But a person's RACE ??? That's the one thing you can never change, the only one that came close and had the money and desire to do it was Michael Jackson yet even he wasn't successful.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  43.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 15 Jan 10

    deann ; The ones that know are seeking here .

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  44.   SCash says:
    Posted: 14 Jan 10

    @brownclown - Thanks for the kind words. And I agree, being a minority himself, he has come across a lot of prejudice, much more than I ever have to be honest. He was terribly insecure and 'joked' about me running off with a black man! The humour was used to mask his insecurity clearly! @deann - Do you mean that the situation to do with his parents was 'not my issue'?

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  45.   teikyo30 says:
    Posted: 14 Jan 10

    Most Asian women I see will only date Black men. I think it's because they think Black guys all have big dicks, and maybe because a lot of Black men degrade women and that makes them feel like they're in the right pecking order.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  46.   deann says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 10

    @ hi, Most Asian women prefer educated men and that you are obviously not. So, you are calling your Mother and sisters sluts? I sure hope they know how you feel about them. I wish young bw knew how some young bm felt about them.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  47.   deann says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 10

    @ Scash, that was not your issue. However, move on do not fall into a rut. Next.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  48.   deann says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 10

    Correction....I will take that bet, jinboo.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  49.   deann says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 10

    @ jinboo, I take that bet and I will be the one who comes out on top. Now laugh at that.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  50.   LabelMePretty says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 10

    What i don't get is why its such a big deal i personally think its a beautiful thing. As an African American woman (single) would love to date an Asian man(key word single Ahahaha!) the way i see it is God is our only judge so why judge each other?...im not attracted to AM beause they are Asian but because they have awsome goals and morals in life and i believe they treat there wivesgirlfriends good i want to be treated goo so it really doesn't matter to me be if could choose i would prefer an Asian man...:)

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment

Opinion

Find your soulmate on Swirlr

Join Free

Coaching Testimonial

"The Coaching Service served as an incredible perk and has really enhanced my online dating experience"

Submitted by: Karen, USA, 34

My Dating Coach really took the time to go through my profile thoroughly. First she viewed my pictures and gave me great feedback.

She read through the written portion of my profile, line by line, and gave direct feedback on how to add my personality to it.

My amazing consultant, even asked how my contacts where going and offered a few suggestions to increase my interactions with new men.

I took her advice and made the suggested adjustments.

I have received more contact from men, more views, and have started communicating with more people which was the whole point of joining the site in the first place.

The Coaching Service served as an incredible perk and has really enhanced my online dating experience. Thanks!

Find out more

Most Popular

Your Comments