Are Black women and Asian men being sidelined?

Posted by Ria, 29 Oct

I'm always blogging about how White guys are getting the hot Asian women… but let's not forget Black guys dating White women.

One thing that made me sit and think for a moment is… "Are there fewer white men that are willing to date black women… and even fewer white women willing to date Asian men?" It’s like Black women and Asian men are being left on the sideline when it comes to the interracial dating game. So why is this?

Find your soulmate on Swirlr

When it comes to online dating, Black women and Asian women seem to be disadvantaged. Men of all races usually claim to be open to dating men of all races but they seem to have reservations when it comes to Black women. Similarly, women who claim that they just want to find a nice, kind, respectful man, who say physical preference is not a deal-breaker seem to pump their brakes at Asian men.

Whether we like it or not, this is evident online and also with other match-making services. The profiles of Asian men and Black women rank lowest when it comes to the numbers of other singles showing interest in them. They seem to get fewer messages as well as fewer matches. Matchmaking services also say that these two groups are the hardest to find matches for.

There is the emasculation of Asian men by the media for years that seems to have translated to a self-fulfilling prophecy that ended up giving birth to an actual non-attraction to Asian men in real life.

As for black women, the media portrays them as sassy, strong women who emasculate men. Society makes them appear to be more masculine than women of other races making people assume that they are effeminate, hence physically less attractive.

Asian men and black women are having a harder time dating because of the societal constructed beauty standards and stereotypes. On the other hand, Asian women and Black men are doing so much better with Asian women being idealized as being more sexual and more feminine and Black men as more masculine and well endowed.

Then there is also a different spin to all this... maybe Black women and Asian men probably aren’t interested in dating outside of their own race...

The other thing about Asian men and Black women is that this particular interracial combo is also rare. Black woman-Asian man couples are sometimes even ridiculed as poor matches by whites, blacks, and Asians alike. Is this combo freakish as some people who have never seen such a couple put it?

I believe when people finally get over their rigidity and put a human face to black woman-Asian man relationships eventually they will respect this combo as much as most Americans accept and even laud some other types of interracial unions.

Well, I think this would be one viable option to consider in interracial dating… Seeing as Black women and Asian men are the least likely groups to be matched online, maybe they should consider dating each other more. That way we will see a rise in Asian Men Black Women couples and then maybe, we will stop gawking when we see them. What do you make of it?

476 responses to "Are Black women and Asian men being sidelined?"

Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

  1.   BlackCowboy says:
    Posted: 07 Jan 10

    I as a handsome black lad have seen VERY FEW Asian-Canadian lasses I'd date because so few are voluptuous.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  2.   Member says:
    Posted: 07 Jan 10

    The African women of the continent and those of the Diaspora are abeautiful race of people. We should however look at our fathers face and appreciate him and find a good African man to be involved with, whether he is of the ontinent or the diaspora of the Caribbean, or from the African American ones ore Brazilian or French or what everelse have you of us African peoples ofthe World. None-the-less, a good choice of an Asian man would be a darn good thing. Whether he is of the subcontinent of Asian or China/Korea/Japan/Viet Nam/Taiwan or other part of Asia. The Subcontinent of Asia - India rarely get into the African very much unless they are in the Caribbean basin/region. But that can be a good match also. But many of these people need to inform/educate themselves as to the goodness and kindness of all peoples especially African peoples. We always spread out or Red carpets and Gpld ones too but many people lookdown their stupid noses at some Africans. Yes wherever we are we are an African people, an African Race. the continent or the diaspora.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  3.   Eddy says:
    Posted: 06 Jan 10

    Wow, what a great topic. I'm filipino male living in Canada and my first girlfriend in high school was a tiny carribean girl. She had dark skin, braids and an amazing body. We were both very shy and spoke on the phone for hours and hung out for weeks as "friends". When one day it just made sense to hold hands and kiss when we ever we were together. I honestly thought I would end up marrying this girl. I don't have a preference for girls of a specific race as I've pretty much dates across the board, black, latina, white. Though I've never seriously date any asian girls I am not opposed to it. Though I don't think I'd get along with the FOB's and the white washed ones generally think asian guys are ugly. I think it's stupid to generalize and give into stereotypes. I'm still a shy guy though I've been told I'm very good looking and a great catch but living in a society that does accept the stereotypes makes it difficult for me to emotionally enter into a relationship. Anyway, a couple of months ago, I got into an incident with a lady driving a bmw. Anyway, she called me an asshole, I called her a bitch and we went back and forth until she left. So to make a long story short even though she ended up slashing my tires, the fact that she was black and I was asian never once entered into the argument (when it easily could have). And to be totally honest she was actually really hott!!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  4.   jinboo says:
    Posted: 06 Jan 10

    I'm a Black man looking for an Asian woman, and I have Black women for the exchange, lol.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  5.   brownclown says:
    Posted: 05 Jan 10

    SCash, What happended to you is so very unfair. It's terrible how society through the media pressures men to steer clear of long-term committments to black women. It's quite ok to sex us...but to marry or make a long-term committment requires a bold man with the courage to act on his own values and desires rather than be influenced by family and peers. Unfortunately such a man is rare. I am sending positive wishes your way. I hope that the shell shock is short-lived and that you find the positive lessons from this experience and the strength to love and be loved again. Asians are 'minorities' too so they often lack the confidence to lead. Just my humble opinion.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  6.   SCash says:
    Posted: 04 Jan 10

    I am a black woman who until recently, was in a relationship with a Chinese man. The relationship lasted a little over a year, and although it was not perfect, was the best relationship I've been in as we understood each other on levels that previous partners had failed to. It went without being said directly, but I know that the fact that I am black was an issue for his parents, his father especially. His father had assumed I was white until seeing a picture of me, and dismissed the relationship as something that was not serious. I feel as though this was one of the main reasons for him ending it, and that smaller contributing factors were used as an excuse. He'll never admit this of course, and has insulted my intelligence by assuming I'm not perceptive enough to see it. It has knocked my confidence considerably, as well as anger me. I guess I was naive in assuming it would work out, living in a diverse city and seeing interracial relationships working on a daily basis. I have never been the most confident, but have managed to get by. But being made to feel like you're essentially not good enough for a serious relationship is enough to tear anyone to shreds, especially when you've let your guard down for that person. What annoys me the most is the fact that there are people that are / will be relieved by the fact that we are no longer together. People that probably had the very same attitude towards the relationship and towards me. I know for a fact that he was not used to having someone that challenged him, but embraced the fact for the most part and enjoyed being kept on his toes. I wouldn't call myself what people may deem to be a stereotypical black woman, but I'm also not one to keep it buttoned when I feel like something needs to be said. Looking back, all the signs were there to suggest that he was perhaps a little embarrassed by it all, which is sad really and very hurtful. The damage that has been done will take a long time to repair. The next guy to step up to the plate has a lot to contend with!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  7. Posted: 03 Jan 10

    I'm a 21 year old African American woman living on the East coast and I have always been attracted to East Asian (I'm a little disturbed that no has made this distinction as there is a major difference between East Asian and Southeast Asian culture) men but have NEVER been approached by one. If I were I don't think I would even know what to do with myself. I hate to suggest something so exclusive, but the only way to prove that African American women and Asian men can come together to make sweet, sweet interracial love would be to start up a dating site made specifically for that purpose. When that does happen I will sign up immediately!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  8.   Yamii says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 10

    hi im 17 and im black pacific islander creole cajun etc so is my whole family i love asian guys since elementary school so since im so diverse in what i am i dont have the pressure as other people do to marry in thier race primarly because im so many things i just think that even though ur familys might be upset that you date and or marry outside your race dosent mean you shouldnt do it because its going to be you who wakes up every morning to the person you marry u who has to look them in the face everyday not ur friends not ur family you so go for whatever you truly what and anybody thats says they dont like seeing interracial couples nobody asked you to be lookin step kick rocks keep on push because it is none of your businuss who people what to date so keep your coments to so self noboy said you had to date them. but anyway date who you think you would what to wake up in the morning to ps.the the person called hi, i just wanted to say i think it was very rude of you to say that all black girls are sluts thats like saying all asians look alike or all whites are boring and named bill and martha so like the saying goes if you dont have something nice to say dont say anything at all.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  9. Posted: 01 Jan 10

    Raynedelay, don't be moved by the foolish words of this person whose views are so far 'off base' and such a 'broad generalization' that it's warped. We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves. -Goethe I've overheard (eavesdropped on brothers talking) and have also been told, personally, about asian 'ladies' from our fellow brothers who, while in the military were stationed throughout Asia. It was definitely a worldly education. The red light districts in those countries weren't the only areas that were frequented, where those young men were welcomed. P.S.-hi, there are dictionaries available to assist you with your spelling. Have a good day!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  10.   RAYNEDELAY says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 09

    Hi, Shut the hell up! TROLL!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  11.   hi says:
    Posted: 29 Dec 09

    weel, i like dating asian lady's more then Black lady's, why because black ladys r slut's, and asian ladys aren't. so u see

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  12.   Tameka says:
    Posted: 22 Dec 09

    I have always been attracted to Asian men. If given the choice, I would have married an Asian man; however, Asian man never seem interested in women of color. They are more attracted to Blond haired European women. I am more attracted to Asian men than I am to African men, because of there physical stature and intense eyes which is a symbol of strength and confidence. I guess I am no different from European American women who date African American men because of the symbolism behind darker skin.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  13. Posted: 22 Dec 09

    I just came across this site while researching something totally different and decided to see what's up. Very interesting topic of conversation. The only comment I want to make at this time is that while living in this world, there will always be people who don't want to see happiness among couples. No matter if they're of the same race or if it's an inter-racial relationship. I know the degrees of stupidity and inconsideration will vary because many people refuse to be color blind and are just plain jealous or stubborn. Yet, these naysayers will not change so readily, if at all. The couples who are in love, who are emotionally mature, have a mutual respect for each other, and have decided to share a future together will have to make the conscious effort to perservere, e.g. develop a strong backbone, thick-skin, and an unmoveable confidence in the decison that was jointly made. Focus on being in this world, yet not of it when it comes to your relationship. There's a way to let people know when they've crossed the line and it's simply by telling them. It can be done without anger, eventually. A firm tone will always work. My take on solid relationships is that, fools will always exist, yet true love is waiting for us to ignore the fools.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  14.   brownclown says:
    Posted: 21 Dec 09

    I agree with Kellygirl. Many, many black women are attracted to Asian men, including me. It seems that Asian men are not interested in us. Perhaps the 'hoodrat' image has taken its toll on them. Media portrayals of certain ethnic groups create indelible images in our minds.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  15.   Observer says:
    Posted: 14 Dec 09

    There is such a wide range of black looks as well as asian looks, and who will be externally attracted to whom would vary greatly. But, my personal experience as a Caribbean woman with blended looks of African/East Indian/Native American has been clear interest shown by a number of East Indian guys and a couple of Korean guys. In all of these cases religious differences and family cultural expectations were barriers. So, while I do find so many Asian guys to be super attractive, based on past experiences it just seems like a waste of time to even ponder that.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  16.   Kellygirl says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    okay how to put it how to put it??? one: not all black girls are Shanay-nay i.e hood rats (obviously). two: my family doesnt give a rats behind what race i date. three: i a very young black female who practically melts into butter at the thought of an asian guy. but have i dated one? no. there are NO asian men anywhere near me, but in the China 1 resturaunts ( i live in Detroit MI) i actually am not attracted to over masculine 10-foot penis men either (excuse my french). I love EVERYTHING about asians, and when i say everything, i mean everything. THE PROBLEM IS NOT THAT BLACK WOMEN DONT WANT YOU AND WHOEVER TOLD U THAT CAN KICK ROCKS AND BLOW BUBBLES!!! I think that (in my own opinion, so plz no comments) asian guys like us but are scared off by the hoodrat image that society has branded us women of color. BOTTOM LINE: GROW SOME BALLS AND APPROACH US!!! YOU WILL BE SUPRISED HOW MANY BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN ARE FOAMING AT THE MOUTH (exaggeration but you get my drift) TO BE WITH YOU!! email me any comments/ questions under the topic bf/am at [email protected]

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  17.   MST says:
    Posted: 09 Dec 09

    Most of these posts refer to Asian men from China, Korean or Japan. How about Pacific Islanders? They are gorgeous!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  18.   Blkprinc47 says:
    Posted: 09 Dec 09

    Interesting but it seems just as full of generalities has any other. I'm still confused by this non-sense that black men are running to white women when the overwhelming majority of African Americans in the U.S are married and dating each other. What further amazes me is the number of people on the site that don't mind people dating interracially but are themselves promoting the same sterotypes about the people they won't date because of their skin color as some of the racist you meet in the deep south.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  19.   Tengyal says:
    Posted: 06 Dec 09

    I am a asian man in a relationship with a black woman. It's rare and i like it.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  20.   Joe says:
    Posted: 16 Nov 09

    I think it's the media to blame...particularly PORN, after all, where else can people fantasize?

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  21.   Michie says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 09

    There's a lot of great discussion and dialogue happening on this site! It's nice to know there are other Black women who can appreciate the physical features and relationship potential in Asian men. I'm proud to see we are not all allowing the pressures of society, stigma from family and friends, and lack of exposure from media to hold us back from recognizing true love and purity in indviduals who do not look like us. Good job!! Black men have been allowed to venture out and create a comfortable image of themselves with other ethnicities. It's our time too! And this part addresses some of the post from people including Asian men who commented on Asian men not being attractive or being on the lower end of appealing. I am not sure how you all could have come to that conclusion... it's somewhat confusing. How about the facial features, like almost carved faces. I love men around my height 5'7 so another plus. Almost hairless, that's attractive to some women. I could go into more but you really shouldn't undermine yourselves just cause society and media do. Looking forward to reading all this discussion all the way through. I plan on making this stuff my dissertation topic! *so in response to some people who say we don't have degrees, that's not true, some of us do and we use them to progress *hugz

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  22.   hallyustar says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 09

    i think you meant to say that asian women arent dating asian men and that black men arent dating black women. AW are in high demand as spouses, as are BM.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  23.   david says:
    Posted: 22 Oct 09

    I am Vietnamese and I have dated outside my race my whole life. My parents are immigrants so the culture thing took alot of adjusting for them to do but they have adjusted quite well. Starting from when I was in 6th grade til now in college, I have dated majority black or hispanic girls. The very first few gfs I brought home, my parents were not happy. They used to tell me stuff like they would be ashamed to see me outside with that person of a different race and dumb stuff like that. Flash foward now they finally realize that interracial dating is normal. I think the biggest barrier in any interracial relationship is going to be culture. Whether its adjusting, assimilating, or experiencing another culture, it takes an open heart and mind. Long story but I just wanted to say I love black women, you are all beautiful and I think the pairing of us is a match made in heaven.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  24.   aznfan says:
    Posted: 05 Oct 09

    The last guy I dated was American born Vietnamese. We met at an art gallery and we hit it off from there. It was funny because I thought he was cute, but I wasn't looking for a relationship. While the whole time he was trying to figure out how to get my number. He was funny, smart, hella sexy in every way. I never felt uncomfortable when going out, granted it was the first time dating a different race(for him it was Black and for me Asian) Plus, there was an age difference. He thought I was 22 to his 26, but I'm 35 to his 26 and he didn't care. He still thought I was hot and we both looked the same age. Trust me I don't set out to date younger men. I just have freaky genetics...all the women in my family don't look their age. I will be carded for the rest of my life and will never be respected by some older people in and out of the work place. But I digress, he totally changed the way I look at Asian men. Even though I have relocated to another state, we have remained friends. I can't wait to date another Asian man again. I've also found that learning about the culture in general helps in some situations and just being honest and asking questions help too. Guys don't be shy, ask us out. We think you're hot!! PS. If anyone seen Flashforward, there is an AM/BW relationship between John Cho and Gabrielle Union. She plays his fiancee.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  25. Posted: 04 Oct 09

    Alright this could be interesting.Think of our world today.The media,computers,books,and where you live.These are the big reason why people have their negative opinions.The sterotyping of all nationalities will never play out.I'm the kind of guy who can find beauty in any woman."MMMMM oh yeah baby."If you want to be loved from someone other than your race.You will definetely have to pay a price.Ladies you can have what you like.The thing is are you strong enough to handle the drama. Asian men like blk women for real but you don't hardly see it and when you do see it,its like rare.Why is it rare?One word."Traditions".All nationalites are face with the same issue and this is mostly common with the asians. Traditions are not to be broken yet i find myself breaking them.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  26.   brina says:
    Posted: 03 Oct 09

    im black or carribean and my boyfriend is cambodian

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  27.   berrykiss91 says:
    Posted: 02 Oct 09

    I’m an African American Female, and I must say That I think that Asians are really attractive, always have and always will. Yeah in American some keep to their clichés and will probably look down at you if you try to join. But that’s the same if you try to go into any race clichés. I’ve dated countless Asians and loved every second of it, Im even thinking of going to Japan next summer, am treat bw as they are jewelry and sometimes are amazed at our color, I think that we as bw should give them a shot, and not brush them off because they need love to.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  28.   Member says:
    Posted: 01 Oct 09

    I'm an African American Women alot of us are use to the masculinity of black men they are very passionate and affectionate. They are proud of their masculinity and like talking about sex and how they can make it happen. Black women are strong but black men are stronger. A Black Man will put a woman in her place when she's out of line. Because of our history I think black women prefer black men because of their strenght. We can from nothing to something and share a common ground is why we refer to each other as brothers and sistere.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  29. Posted: 27 Sep 09

    "Is it really true? You know the myth… I dont mean to be vulgar but that is the only thing that worries me, and both ways not just my pleasure but his as well." Help! Dear Kitten, To my knowledge it is not true but I've only been with one Asian man who is Filipino and Italian and even though he was only 5'7"...he was huge! Don't mean to sound overt but you asked (lol)! I hope this helps! SFR

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  30.   Laconic says:
    Posted: 27 Sep 09

    Don't worry PakoBoy. There are not a large contingent of Black women who want or begging Asian men to date them. Asian culture is notoriously racist anyway. Lou Jing is black and asian and even though her mother committed adultery, that girl has received a lot of abuse because she was half Blackhttp://www.asianoffbeat.com/default.asp?Display=2072 Thus with a people who are often monoracial and closed to races (except Whites of course) who are not like them, I for one don't see a lot of Blacks running to Asians. Naturally Whites and Asians will continue to increase but they both have racial superiority mindset in common, in which they think they are better than everyone else.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  31. Posted: 26 Sep 09

    Have to agree with post by Salsera77 on 12 January 2008 about dating. I live on West Coast and the Asian women here are vicious when it comes to black women. An acquaintance is dating an Asian women. He's black. She latched on to him and now she won't leave. He can't get rid of her. She's got a thing for black guys, has a mixed black daughter and HATES black people. Love/hates her own daughter. She's a mess. It's a bad scene. I've met Asian guys with an interest and was pursued at a time when I didn't know the extent of their hatred for black people; thinking we're inferior, that we're oddities. Seem to buy into their own sense of superiority. Forgetting that people come in all types within each race/culture. Period. There's an article recently added about how Korean men are being paid now to marry interracial. Think Asian culture is finally understanding that not mixing isn't doing any good.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  32.   hello says:
    Posted: 23 Sep 09

    I just want to put this out there: It used to be fun meeting women up until they thought it was fun to ridicule me for being an asian guy.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  33.   Dove37 says:
    Posted: 23 Sep 09

    Just to add, my asian man and I have been dating for 1 1/2 years. He is indonesian. His parents loved me from day one. Very nice family. They cook for me and pick up gifts for me when they travel and treat me like their daughter. All I have to say is that we black women are going to have to be more open in our views as to who we want as a mate. Our race of men is becoming more difficult to date (love my brothers). Very non-commital and some very insecure. My asian guy tells me he loves me everyday. He loves the color of my skin (dark brown). He loves my intelligence. He loves my hair...short regular sister hair that require a perm after 2 months. He loves my lips, and is proud to be in my company. He calls me sexy,beautiful,loves my shape (butt), and enjoy eating collard greens. Black women, try it you just might like it. (they may have to be a foreigner, but you never know, the American Asian men may work out as well. Society and a lot of our brothers have made black women look bad. It is truly unfortunate. But there is hope for good healthy relationships outside our race. Try it. p.s. I have dated a couple of Indian (Asian) guys that did not work out. I stopped dating them because one smoked too much and religiously we were not compatible. Otherwise he was a nice guy. My Indian female friend stated that Indian guys can be very abusive mentally and physically. That could apply to some I'm sure but probably not all.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  34.   Dove37 says:
    Posted: 23 Sep 09

    I am an african american woman who is dating an Asian man from Europe. I was never opposed to dating Asian men because of their similar yet not as hostile contribution they made to American as well. In spite of the historical standpoint my friend very nice. He is tall dark and I think handsome. He is generous and wants to learn more about black history. He is caring, strong and very respectable. He loves black women! There could be some validity to America racist views in terms of who belong together. However I don't let that stop me. We travel to Europe and domesticly. He doesn't understand why the U.S. is so prejudice because in Europe, they really don't see color. Not like here. We are going to Turkey next year.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  35.   shotgun007 says:
    Posted: 21 Sep 09

    The subject of this article has nothing to do with infusing the World by the Masses by that of a black women and Asian men couples. You missed the point entirely, IndoPakBoy. One thing I agree on, some of my many black female friends would respectfully decline an Asian man's advances or friendship altogether. Most of my friends say that they are not attracted to them because they appear to be weak, small/short, speak in broken English sentences, have problems communicating, abrasive-rude personalities, etc. But then again, part of what you mentioned may give light to why Asian Women prefer White Men instead of Asian men. Perhaps it speaks to the Asian male population? Who knows? I have found a few Korean men very attractive, I can't say that for majority of the others that I've came into contact with. I don’t think you’ll find too many black women selectively choosing an Asian male as a companion, so your dilemma is basically nonexistent.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  36.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Sep 09

    I think that anyone who believes that Asians (Orientals from the Far East or Indians from India-Pakistan-like myself) and Blacks are going to get together and form a big cultural shift in inter-marraige are deluding themselves!!! Black culture and situations are very different to Asians. Black culture is built around the idea of masculinity for men and `being strong` for women. In Asian cultures, the women are expected to be very feminine and men masculine in a more subtle and responsible way (e.g. getting an education, instilling values, successul marraige, etc.). Also, education is emphasized in all of Asian groups. Unfortunately, the perception- backed up with facts-shows blacks do poorly in this regard. Physically, the two groups are completely apart. Blacks like full-figured women, big booties and disproportionate lips etc. Asians like their women a bit curvy (e.g. Indian and Pakistan) or very small and flat (e.g. Japan). However, one thing both Asians agree on is that they like `lighter`skin- especially on their women with long straight beautiful hair that is hard to come by in the Black community. For Asians, having dark skin (esp. like a black person) is the greatest form of offence. It is associated with low-class, dirty, and ugly rough people that work in the fields. Believe me, I have been to India (over 1 year) and born in Pakistan and now living in Canada with many Asian (esp. Chinese) friends. Anyone who thinks that the cases sighted (of intermarraige) above are symbolic of a big trend is living a fantasy. Black women are generally the group held most in disfavour among Asians (heck, North Indians generally can`t stand the dark-skinned Tamils from the South). However, Black women generally don`t like us in return. Physically and intellectually, I don`t think we are meant to be with each other. I, for one, would never date a black or mulatto female and know a great many others!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  37.   amber says:
    Posted: 20 Sep 09

    i dont know about this one...sounds complex....they like white women and asian women best...my advice leave them totally alone.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  38.   Susan says:
    Posted: 16 Sep 09

    i'm black woman, and my husband is Vietnamese he is 5 year younger than me. We married for 11 year and we have 3 beautiful kids. There not many black/asian couples because for Asian men refer white, but not all of them. I want to say thank god for wonderful husband, and kids

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  39. Posted: 16 Sep 09

    "if you're insecure about the reactions of Asians to blacks - it's because you're closed minded" Ahh....always refreshing to know that my fears are really "just my problem". 'Cause it's my crazy imagination that Asians themselves have repeatedly expressed disdain not only for dark skin for Africans and African Americans and the physical features common to both. Asians live in a collective - community oriented culture - what?? Even if the guy might like black women, many are only interested in experimentation? - Nahhh Some might be interested but are held back by the reactions of their communities? - Overstatement! Obviously, all the black women who have experienced the above themselves - they're just closed minded! Thanks for those insights - Always great to receive an education about my mental defects as a black woman with fears.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  40.   Member says:
    Posted: 16 Sep 09

    I am preparing to move to Canada in a year or two and am making preparations. I am seriously looking at the Vancouver/Victoria area. I will be visiting next year. So, I am hoping (fingers crossed) that I will meet and mingle with some intelligent, available, progressive and loving Asian men. I have talked with some over the internet and the experiences have been less than desirable. But we all know that for the most part the internet is a haven for sicko's anyway. NIce comments Moon Child

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  41.   chynadoll says:
    Posted: 16 Sep 09

    you take your time asiandude, if you love someone and they love you back. Ain't shit can stop that or come between you guys. Even if you have to keep it on down low.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  42.   asiandude says:
    Posted: 16 Sep 09

    bullcrap if you think asian dudes think low on black girls. I.. I <- (who's only lived in AZ for 5years) am a Korean, and my first love was a black girl. We couldn't even be official because my parents who live overseas couldn't accept the fact that I was liking someone black.. f'd up shi*, and I hate thar stubborn part of the Korean culture, but what can I say.. All it takes is time.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  43. Posted: 15 Sep 09

    Hi, I'm a black woman who dates Asian men, I have dated Asian men ever since I can remember starting dating back in my mid-teenage years up until now at the age of 33.I love them and they love me. Live and let live!!! I say.....Interracial dating isn't for every one. Especially those who feel that they would be frownd upon by their race and others.One must truely have an I don't care what my race or other people say attitude.Two people in love is beautiful regardless of race or color.If your that insecure that a man from Asian decent wouldn't find a black female attractive and want to be in a relationship with her...you obviously are closed minded and must not be among those of us living on planet earth.The myth about Asian men having little penises isn't true!!! Don't believe the hype.All men regardless of race or color come in all various sizes(and no...not all black and white men are packing!)All I saying is you don't know what your missing if you haven't tried.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  44.   newgirl1 says:
    Posted: 13 Sep 09

    Hello Mr. Chang, I would like to thank you first of all for your time and consideration in answering my question. I'm an older, African American woman who has always from grade school been attracted to Asian men. But I have found that older Asian men around the ages over 45 do not date and or marry black women. Would you explain some reason why and are there in places a black woman could go to help her chances of meeting an Asian man who is open to interracial relationships with us.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  45.   kitten says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 09

    I just started to date an Asian Guy. The emotional chemistry is right on and I am falling for him fast and the feeling is mutual. I am concerned about the physical stereotypes though and don't want to be suprised on our honeymoon. I know it shouldnt matter but sexual chemistry is important to me. Is it really true? You know the myth... I dont mean to be vulgar but that is the only thing that worries me, and both ways not just my pleasure but his as well. Help!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  46.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    imma Asian man, ask me a questions :)

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  47.   dolly48 says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 09

    I dont know who starts these conversations? it seems more neg than pos. communication is good, but it should start on a positive note? JMHO

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  48.   daisy101 says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 09

    Well im still young but,also so happy i found this. Im an african american female that really has a thing for asian guys and this has been going on ever since i was 10.I don't think race matters at all because in the end if you love someone you'll be happy anyways and you shouldn't care what anyone says;]

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  49.   Member says:
    Posted: 28 Aug 09

    I have read every single post and am very intrigued and well informed as to the nature of the attractions btw Asian men and Black women. I have been doing some research after having a huge crush on a Chinese man last year, since then my attraction has increased as he indicated that he liked me as well. But due to age difference and the fact he is in the military, we had to part ways. *sigh* I have been tied down to the subconscious and unspoken chains of being able to love only black men. Unfortunately none of those relationships panned out very well. I won't go into why here we all know what the most common reasons are, they have already been listed. I used to date men of other races but that shut down in my early years of college, that was years ago, then I got married to my now x husband and have never looked back. Now at this space in my life I am once again willing and desiring to move outside of my self imposed cultural box and find love and relationship with a bright, intellectual, fun, open minded, giving, family oriented, deeply sexual and spiritual man of another race and Asian men I very attractive to me in so many ways. I have always liked their style and culture. I do not care about racial ignorance or other peoples issues with it, I have never been one to care about such things. What I desire is too truly relate to a man of color deeply and profoundly and I desire to move in another direction and this is it. Like so many other AA women on this thread I find Jet Li to be extremely attractive as well as the other Asian men listed. I am open and willing now I need to find out HOW to meet Asian men. I do not live in a State or city that has a high population of non married asian males.....I am 38 yrs old and looking for a man who is 34-45. Do any of you fine people know the best places to meet and talk with Asian men? As in internet, state or city? I am in Michigan right now but am willing to relocate as I am looking to move in the next year or two anyway. I would kindly except any suggestions. I have been out of ANY KIND of relationship for over 10 years, working on self, gaining self awareness, self love, improving myself and have established myself as a business woman and am more successful everyday. I am READY to spread my wings and fly! Thank you for any responses. Moon Child

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  50.   Shotgun007 says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 09

    Mel81, I really think you should disregard another person's opinion of another "groups" appearance. I find Pilipino and Asian men highly attractive as I’ve stated previously. I think the Pilipino & Asian culture in general has gorgeous features. Just my opinion..(Not referencing anyone in particular) Sometimes in these blog posts, you may run across a few subscribers who may initiate generalized comments about another culture based on a few of their own personal experiences. But keep in mind they are speaking from THEIR experience and NOT speaking for an entire race. My take is, Asian men or black women can’t begin the dating process unless we reach out to one another. It takes an effort on both parts and to cast down all of the stereotypes to begin with. Another thing we have to look at is the concentration of Asian men and black women in the same geographical area. There are few cities that can say the ratio of Asian men and black women are relatively high, so I think we can factor this small aspect into the equation. Just my take…

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment